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Glenwood Springs filmmaker examines Internet dating
Video features advice and cautionary tales
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Documentarian Nick Isenberg films relationship expert Carolyn Bushong. Bushong was one of many authors, counselors and dating gurus who took part in Isenberg’s recent video, “Before You Commit — Internet Dating.”
Joan Isenberg/Courtesy Photo
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By Stina Sieg
Post Independent Staff
Glenwood Springs, CO Colorado
April 9, 2008
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| Words to the wise |
What: “Before You Commit — Internet Dating,” a documentary by local filmmaker Nick Isenberg
Available at: Sacred Grounds Coffee Shop, 725 Grand Ave. and Exclusive Athletic Club, 118 W. Sixth St., both in Glenwood Springs, as well as Novel Tea Books, 449 Main St. in Carbondale and Aspen Books, 655 Durant St. in Aspen. All of Denver’s Tattered Cover Book Stores carry it, too.
Cost: $19.95
More information (including an online order form): www.nickisenberg.com |
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GLENWOOD SPRINGS, Colorado — A married man for the last 25 years, Nick Isenberg never had a chance to jump on Internet dating band wagon.
Until now, that is.
No, Glenwood’s own “Enquirer” reporter and documentarian isn’t looking for a new romance. But he does want to help those who are. In his latest movie, “Before You Commit — Internet Dating,” Isenberg, 65, explores the joys, risks and awkward moments that can accompany a foray into cyber love.
“It’s a big deal,” he said, of the online dating scene. “It’s huge now.”
And that’s no overstatement. He quoted a recent survey, claiming that 74 percent of single Internet users have used dating websites. That statistic had shocked him, he said, but it was just a tiny bit of what he learned over the course of filming.
The journey started for him recently, after hearing his co-worker’s experience in the Internet dating pool. In the beginning, he said, things were good for Joe. As he traveled on business, the freshly divorced fellow was meeting ladies across the Western Slope. This was all fun and games until Joe had two wince-inducing dates.
First, a woman asked him, right off the bat, if he had ever killed anybody. The next date out, he met up with someone who looked a good 30 years older than her picture.
Upon hearing this, Isenberg just knew there was a story there waiting to be told.
| Words to the wise |
What: “Before You Commit — Internet Dating,” a documentary by local filmmaker Nick Isenberg
Available at: Sacred Grounds Coffee Shop, 725 Grand Ave. and Exclusive Athletic Club, 118 W. Sixth St., both in Glenwood Springs, as well as Novel Tea Books, 449 Main St. in Carbondale and Aspen Books, 655 Durant St. in Aspen. All of Denver’s Tattered Cover Book Stores carry it, too.
Cost: $19.95
More information (including an online order form): www.nickisenberg.com |
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“It’s because I’m a reporter,” he explained. “I saw an issue, and I realized it was important.
“What are the real issues people have when they’re Internet dating?” he then asked.
This film is his response to that question — and several more. How do you know someone is who they say they are? When should you meet in person? What is it like dating a convict? For 72 minutes, experts and veteran daters attempt to give answers.
Much of the information is definitely Internet-centric. The praises of the medium are sung, its pitfalls noted. The importance of cursory background checks is stressed, as is the use of web cams. The interviewees caution daters to look for certain red flags, to avoid getting scammed or hurt emotionally. Never send money, many say.
Isenberg even tells some cautionary tales of people who have been killed due to Internet affairs.
At the same time, the video is broader than purely web issues. It’s tackling the basics of relationships, all relationships. Don’t give your power away, says one expert. Don’t be too available, explains another. Communicate. Don’t go too fast. Be yourself.
There’s not one crowd that shouldn’t hear these messages, explained Isenberg. He made this film for everyone. He called the Internet “a great way to meet people,” but acknowledged there are still ways for the lovelorn to improve their chances. He simply wants to show them how.
In cyberspace, why not shoot for better romances, he asked, “rather than just duplicate the same relationships people have now?”
Before shooting this video, he was like “everyone else,” he went on.
“I hadn’t thought about, consciously, what makes a good, healthy relationship.”
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M/CLOUDY 43°
