Catherine Fenske, Ph.D.

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November 1, 2012
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FENSKE: Surround yourself with positive people

"If you want to fly with the eagles, you can't continue to scratch with the turkeys." - Zig Ziglar

If you really take the time to think about it, your choice in the people you select to associate with is a very important factor in the degree to which you experience success and happiness in this life.

Life is about relationships. Supportive, positive relationships are the framework for building a life of joy and realizing your dreams through love. Unsupportive relationships sabotage your efforts through negativity and fear.

I had a client who came to me for coaching because he was stuck in the frustration of being passed up twice for a promotion at work. He felt like he was doing his job, had some years with the company he was working for, and yet both times people with less experience had gotten the promotion instead of him. As we examined his situation more closely, what he discovered was the people he was associating with at work were the blamers and complainers, the victim crowd. These are the people who continually see the negative, who ask "Why is this happening to me?" rather than "Why is this happening?"

As we started unraveling this truth that he had found within himself, we started to work on personal responsibility and how to create a different experience of living, how to step out of the victim mentality and into the powerful artist of his own life that he is. He started associating with positive, like-minded co-workers. No longer being the "glass half empty or glass half full" guy, he became the glass. He understood that he is the container and he can fill himself full with his own truth, thus creating a totally different outer reality and outcome.

When this man started vibrating at the higher frequency of the people he was in relationship with - the positive people who live from a place of joy and wonder and abundant thinking - his entire world changed. No longer surrounding himself with the lower level energy of negativity and blame that he had been previously involved in, he stepped out of the realm of living in fear and lack and into the realm of infinite possibility. And yes, he did get the next promotion that he applied for.

In the book, "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert, there is an Italian word "Attraversiamo" which means cross over, or let's cross over. If you are surrounding yourself with people who are not serving you and you are participating in their limited thinking and smallness, my coach's request this week is to reflect on the possibility of crossing over to your greatness and the relationships that will support you in this powerful endeavor. Align with those who affirm your greatness and empower you and inspire you to vibrate at the higher frequency of love.

My mentor and teacher, Alan Cohen, taught me something that his teacher, Hilda, had taught him. "The worst use of a marriage or a friendship is to agree on shared victimhood. When we band together to define ourselves as small, we become only smaller. When we join to affirm our power to love and heal, we become infinitely powerful. Take care to agree that you are great and not wounded."


Catherine Fenske, Ph.D. (c), is the owner of Live With Intention Coaching. She is a certified life coach and spiritual counselor. She is also a Reiki Master/teacher. Catherine can be reached at 970-985-4499 or at Go to or visit her blog at to learn more about her.

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The Post Independent Updated Nov 1, 2012 03:51PM Published Nov 1, 2012 03:48PM Copyright 2012 The Post Independent. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.