Beaton column: Double, double, Trump in trouble?
April 20, 2017
"Double, double, toil and trouble;
Fire burn and cauldron bubble."
— The witches in "Macbeth," William Shakespeare
The Democrats — the purported "party of science" — have a new strategy to beat back President Donald Trump and the other Republicans who've overrun the Senate, the House, the Supreme Court, two-thirds of the state legislatures and most of the governorships.
Their new strategy is witchcraft.
It had to happen. The recount ruse didn't add up. The Electoral College refused to go rogue. The Russian conspiracy theory backfired.
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But the Dems are nothing if not creative in demonizing those with whom they disagree.
For example, Dems are typically non-scientists, but they equate scientists who question the Dems' global warming religion to neo-Nazi Holocaust deniers. Their expertise in plants is based only on having smoked them, but they declare that the farms that grow food for billions of people are evil because they also grow profits. They proclaim that a fetus is merely a blob of cells until the woman in whom it resides wants it to be a baby and then, by alchemy, it transforms into one, unless the woman changes her mind, at which time it transforms back into a blob of cells.
According to a recent National Science Foundation survey, Democrats are far more likely to believe in astrology than Republicans (and I mean that statement in both ways).
Think back to college. The rare Republican students were disproportionately represented in engineering, physics and pre-med in preparation for careers serving science and humanity, while the flocks of Democrat sheep usually happily herded themselves into sociology, political "science" and other undemanding hobby majors that made them feel good.
One group grew into the true party of science while the other wallowed in the science of party.
So it's no surprise to see a news report that among the Dem opponents to the new president, are witches.
These witches recently cast a spell on the president and other deviltry that goes by the name of "Republicans."
And you can too! In the interest of diversity, the witchy incantations are not limited to witches. They've also offered this brew to all the other Democrats: "wiccans, shamans, heremeticists, cunning folk, sorcerers and sorceresses, hoodooists, occultists, magicians, ceremonialists and ritualists."
Have wand, will travel.
All you need are a few household items like a candle, salt, water, a tarot card and a photograph of Trump. Then under a crescent moon, without even disrobing, you chant the usual anti-Trump gibberish. At the end, you burn the photo of him. Fire is a big part of the witching shtick.
Don't worry about the global warming effect. As with your oversized SUV with the COEXIST bumper sticker, you can have it every which way — and every witch way — so long as it makes you feel good.
The witches didn't say to whom they're chanting, and it doesn't matter. In Democrat protests — from Hollywood to college campuses — the purpose is not to accomplish anything. It's just preening.
There's a reason, after all, that we know about this little look-at-me spectacle. It's because the witches themselves publicized it.
OK, here's my assessment.
I'm reluctant to cast aspersions on those who cast spells, because it's like casting the first stone and because too often in life I've hooked myself in the ear on the back cast.
And I certainly don't want to engage in a witch hunt since Democrat witches are notoriously elusive prey who are protected by troops of flying monkeys otherwise known as the media.
But at a minimum, this melodrama seems over the top. With one sweep of the broom, it jumps the shark and shoots the moon. When the president called on us to "embrace this renewal of the American spirit," the Dems apparently heard only the first and last words.
Here's a different strategy that the Dems might consider: Stop the shouting, rioting, sobbing, spell-casting and wand-waving and instead meet with the man that America elected president. Stop boycotting the hearings on his Cabinet appointees, and instead show up — in ordinary business attire — and ask questions respectfully. Stop filibustering and start talking. Stop conjuring and start conversing.
Just act normal, not paranormal. Be natural, not supernatural.
No, Trump's not in trouble, but the Dems are. Stop pandering to your party base, and instead start basing your party on something other than pandering. And stop that howling.
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