The Six Degrees of Hillary Clinton Game
Ryan Summerlin May 18, 2014
Here’s how to play: Find a horrible tragedy anywhere in the world and in six degrees or fewer — blame Hillary Clinton.
Several hundred Nigerian schoolgirls are kidnapped by the terrorist cult, Boko Haram. The media pays absolutely no attention to it. Weeks later after a social media campaign to highlight this appalling act of violence, the world finally notices: #BringBackOurGirls.
Even Fox News picks up the story! Steve Doocy on Fox and Friends offers, “And who exactly made sure that they [Boko Haram] were not placed on the terror list? Hillary Clinton.”
See? The Six Degrees of Hillary Clinton Game (SDOHCG) is so easy anyone can play!
More than 200 young girls were abducted by militant monsters and somehow it’s not the fault of the kidnappers — but of Hillary Clinton!
Next round: Our embassies have been a target of violence as long as we’ve had embassies. “We narrowed down the total to 39 attacks or attempted attacks on U.S. embassies and embassy personnel,” Politifact writes. “Of these 39 attacks, 20 resulted in at least one fatality.” These numbers include attacks only on diplomatic targets during the Bush administration — and only overseas. That’s not counting the domestic strike on the Pentagon and Twin Towers on Bush’s watch.
There have been 13 public hearings about the attack in Benghazi in 2012. That’s 3.2 hearings for every American life lost in the attack. (The parity would be 9,526 hearings about 911.) Excessive? Yeah.
Why? Because the GOP has a reflexive parlor game: The SDOHCG. Basically, name something awful, assume cartoonish evil and say Hillary Clinton.
Congressman Darrell Issa at a fundraising dinner in February of this year proclaimed, “I have my suspicions, which is Secretary Clinton told Leon [Panetta] to stand down.”
I have my suspicions that Darrell Issa is ghoulishly can-canning on the graves of four dead Americans to try and keep Hillary Clinton from the Oval Office. Let’s have 13 hearings on it just to make sure.
Even Monica Lewinsky writing an article for Vanity Fair is a perfect premise for this stretching exercise. It’s summed up impeccably in the headline of NY Daily News columnist Linda Stasi, “Monica Lewinsky’s story reminds us Bill Clinton is to blame, Hillary Clinton doesn’t deserve female voter support.”
Lynne Cheney, the mother of Mary Cheney, went on The O’Reilly Factor and opined: “I really wonder if this isn’t an effort on the Clintons’ part to get that story out of the way. Would Vanity Fair publish anything of Monica Lewinsky that Hillary Clinton wouldn’t want in Vanity Fair?” Fill-in host Laura Ingraham replied, “Makes perfect sense, and I’m really mad I didn’t think of it first.”
Anita Hill broke her decades-long silence this year, too. Just a few weeks before the Lewinsky article came out, Anita, the documentary, debuted in theaters. It details Hill’s ordeal in testifying about Clarence Thomas’ sexual harassment during her time as his law clerk. And yet no one said Ginni Thomas, the Justice’s politically entrenched wife, was behind the documentary. Because that would be insane. But if Ginni Thomas were Hillary Clinton suddenly “it makes perfect sense.”
And to answer your next question: No, Hillary Clinton didn’t ask me to write this column.
But then again, as former White House Press Secretary Dana Perino figured out, Hillary doesn’t need to. “The media and Democrats can communicate without talking, right,” Perino supposed on Fox News’ The Five. “They just look at one another and it’s understood, and so you don’t have to have a plan, there’s not going to be any secret document. It’s just something like, ‘We know that we need to do this.’”
That explains why Perino and her colleagues wear those tinfoil hats, so they won’t have to communicate with Democrats.
Blame Hillary for that.
Tina Dupuy is a nationally syndicated op-ed columnist, investigative journalist, award-winning writer, stand-up comic, on-air commentator and wedge issue fan. Tina can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.