April in Glenwood: I’ve got a power couple crush
I have a TV star crush, and I’m not afraid to admit it. This isn’t the first time.
I doubt it will be the last.
Early on in my television-watching career, approximately 1979-1985, I enjoyed the comedic timing and perfect hair of Tom Wopat, better known as Luke Duke on “The Dukes of Hazzard.” He had a way with skirting the law and jumping ramps with an orange ’69 Charger, and that led to one of my first TV crushes. My next-door neighbor, classmate and fellow Dukes fan, Dawn, was drawn to the foxy feathered-haired Bo Duke, played by John Schneider.
The 2005 film adaptation hardly did the original good-ol’ boys justice.
I also had a thing for Fozzie Bear on “The Muppets,” as well as Jokey Smurf and Smurfette of “The Smurfs” cartoon on Saturday mornings. Although she was clearly outnumbered in the Smurf Village, Smurfette always held her own as the only love interest of every male Smurf around her.
Reminds me of attending Purdue University in the mid-’90s.
As that Smurf-crazy little girl, I crushed on Jokey Smurf as well. He had the best sense of humor among the whole small, blue lot. He somehow tricked his Smurf buddies — every single time — with the old wrapped-present-explodes-in-the-face gag. Even the conniving antagonist Gargamel and the smartest Smurf of them all, Brainy, fell for Jokey’s go-to joke.
Brainy was obviously book smart, not so street smart.
Out of adolescence, I’ve had crushes on many TV stars including John Stamos when he played Blackie Parrish on “General Hospital,” to his later work as Jessie Katsopolis on “Full House.” Then there was Scott Wolf as Bailey Salinger on “Party of Five” and Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Elaine Benes on “Seinfeld.”
The Elaine Dance is one of the greatest moments in television.
Reality TV, featuring real people ranging from stay-at-home mom bloggers to outdoorsy types who like to be naked and afraid in a jungle for 30 days, offer a whole new level of celebrities to crush on. They can be just like you and me. Since I’m more of a homebody these days, I watch cooking and home improvement shows like it’s my job.
I suppose if I’m writing about it, then it technically is my job.
I’m a huge fan of the Pioneer Woman, aka Reed Drummond, on the Food Network. She started her impressive career as a blogger, sharing recipes and cooking tips, along with writing about daily life on her family’s working ranch in Oklahoma. She has since authored cookbooks and a children’s book about her family’s basset hound, opened a retail mercantile and restaurant in her small town, and hosts her own TV series, ongoing for nearly six years. On top of her professional accomplishments, she’s been married going on 21 years, and she and her husband, Ladd, have four children that she has home-schooled.
I get tired just thinking about it.
Typically I’m put off by such over-achievement because, well, I’m human. I try to multitask to the best of my abilities, as in writing for the paper, overseeing blog and social media management for clients, and juggling stay-at-home mom duties for a toddler. By the end of every day I feel beyond drained, and I have no idea how my TV girl crush Ree Drummond does it. Does she work 24 hours a day? Does she ever sleep? Can she bottle whatever makes her well-oiled, award-winning career go so I can drink it?
There has to at least be coffee involved.
I feel the same about my most recent TV crush, the delightful-and-hip home improvement team of Chip and Joanna Gaines. For those who aren’t obsessed with their HGTV show “Fixer Upper,” now in its fourth season, the Gaines power couple purchase and refurbish homes in need of remodeling in Waco, Texas. She’s the design and decorating mastermind behind their success, while he oversees building and construction. She’s creative and kind, say like Smurfette. He’s the Jokey Smurf in the relationship, easing tensions of extensive remodeling projects, which almost always include removing walls for open-space design concepts, with humor. A spin-off of “Fixer Upper” premiered last month called, “Fixer Upper: Behind the Design,” focusing on Joanna’s design inspirations. The two also publish a new print magazine, “The Magnolia Journal,” run a retail shop called Magnolia Market at the Silos and own Magnolia Homes and Magnolia Realty. Oh, and they have four kids who seem quite lovely and well-mannered from what I’ve seen on the show.
And yes, I’m tired just thinking about it.
April E. Allford needs a life coach and wonders if Ree Drummond or Joanna Gaines are available. She can be reached at email@example.com.