Will Call: Why so serious?
Here at the Post Independent, we take ourselves far too seriously to do an April Fools’ edition. We know that our readers want us spending most of our time informing, not making things up. “The Daily Show” might have the luxury of mixing facts with jokes, but that just won’t fly here. Without timely updates on municipal politics and gallery openings, our community would invariably descend into chaos.
What would we even write?
Can you imagine us coming up with some far-fetched scenario in which the troll under the Grand Avenue Bridge is disturbed by construction and gets in a fight with the crane?
I don’t think we have that kind of creativity.
I suppose we could send our sports editor to an elementary school dodgeball game for a play-by-play, but that might actually turn out.
It takes finesse to lampoon real issues through humor, and I just can’t think of anything that fits the bill.
Imagine the public reaction to a Forest Service decision to dam Deadhorse Creek and turn Hanging Lake into a reservoir in order to accommodate the crowds. Who would see the humor in that?
Or picture us reporting a new zip line attraction at the Glenwood Caverns that doubles as a Glenwood Canyon bypass. They might not appreciate us poking fun. Nor would Kroger enjoy the idea of pitting the entire populations of Silt and Carbondale against each other in a literal tug of war to see which community gets a new grocery store first.
As fun as it is to contemplate Carbondale outlawing cars and replacing them with horse-drawn carriages, it probably wouldn’t jibe well with our editorial stance on the carbon tax.
I also can’t see Rifle residents taking kindly to a farcical attempt to rebrand the town that backfires when the winner in a renaming competition is “Shotgun.”
For the record, though, I’d absolutely favor Glenwood Springs reverting to its original name so our paper can be “The Daily Defiance.”
Anyway, I’m not sure why I even brought it up. There’s no sense of humor here. Move along.
Will Grandbois makes no promises about pranks played on his own time. He can be reached at 970-384-9105 or firstname.lastname@example.org.