Baby’s got throwback |

Baby’s got throwback

April E. Clark
Post Independent
Glenwood Springs, CO Colorado
April In Glenwood

My birthday closed in fast like guys at last call this week, and it had me feeling nostalgic. Maybe I need a throwback jersey to commemorate my birthday week.

With the years I’ve been on the Earth, it would need to be avocado green and goldenrod.

Remembering Archie Bunker’s “good old days” must be part of the aging process. Turning a new digit can be loathsome. There’s time to reflect on mistakes. Bad sunburns in Daytona on Spring Break. Bad bangs with short hair in the ’90s.

And a few bad mama jammas along the way.

But there’s also promise that my life will probably not turn out the way I planned. Which is the way I like it. Strangely enough. In short, I love surprises. I also love the idea of the throwback jersey. And Throwback Pepsi.

But not throwing out my back.

With this trend of flashing back all the rage, I’m thinking maybe we bring back some old words. Resurrect some words that have been lost as behaviors change. Like, for example, the word courting. Some people call that dating nowadays. Or casual sex.

Oh how the lines can be blurred.

I’d like to see courtship make its comeback. I’m sure it still exists in places outside of the ski-resort lifestyle. I envision someone in my hometown courting at this very moment. They’re probably going to Frosty Boy for crinkle-cut fries and milkshakes as I type. And don’t get me wrong; I go on dates, too. But I just like the sound of the word courting. It rolls off my tongue so much better than trampage. Or hanging out. The beauty of courting is the wooing. Dinner and dancing, yes. Flowers, even better. But texting does not count in this instance. Unless the message is of the Elizabeth Barret Browning variety. “What up, girl?”

Not exactly what I had in mind.

Courting involves romance, and who doesn’t need more of that in their life? OK, maybe not John Mayer. He’s good for now. Courting also requires commitment. And I’ll be the first to admit that’s as scary as orange and avocado green shag carpet. I remember how warm and fuzzy shag carpeting was, so maybe a serious courtship doesn’t sound so daunting.

Especially when there’s wooing involved.

I also like the word elixir. We just don’t hear that one enough anymore. By definition, it is a medicinal syrup, usually containing alcohol. Vodka is often used to make elixirs. In many cases, elixirs are used to cure just about anything that ails. In 1988, Bon Jovi sang of “Bad Medicine,” which could be like an elixir.

Unfortunately, when I try and sing “Bad Medicine” in karaoke it turns out more like a dose of castor oil than elixir.

Which reminds me of the word tincture, and not just because I was born on 4/20. This term seems to be making a comeback lately with all the medical marijuana dispensaries popping up in our valley. Google that one and learn just how tincture makes taking medicine a whole different story than when I was a kid with avocado green shag carpeting in my bedroom. I probably shouldn’t mix courting and tinctures at my age, though.

Then I really might need an elixir to fix that thrown back.

April E. Clark had a great time “playing” a cougar at her birthday party. And filming the next viral sensation, “I Wanna Pop Your Top.” She can be reached at

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