Five Minutes With … a Thanksgiving turkey survivor
Age: Four months, and counting
Family origin: My ancestors were wild turkeys from Wisconsin.
Goal in life: To avoid being on someone’s dinner table with stuffing coming out of my chest.
What’s that fleshy thing hanging off your chin? That’s my wattle.
When did you move to Garfield County and why? I was hatched here.
What do you do in your spare time? I like to roll around in anthills. It’s a little thing we do called “dusting.” I don’t know why we do it, we just do.
Greatest accomplishment: That I’m not on your plate with a bunch of mashed potatoes and green beans.
Ever had an event change your life? Ever had someone come into your living area hiding a hatchet behind their back?
Best piece of advice you’ve ever received? Stay away from the chickens.
When you were a young poult, what did you want to be when you grew up? Alive.
What is something people might not know about you? I can fly.
If you could have any three guests over for dinner, who would they be, what would you serve and what would you talk about? Well, naturally they’d all be vegetarians. But I think I’d invite Foghorn Leghorn, Big Bird and the Road Runner. We’d peck at corn kernels on the ground and talk about what a great movie “Soylent Green” was.
Favorite slogan? Eat more chicken.
What’s the worst invention of all time? The oven.
Funniest thing about humans? When they make turkey calls and think that they actually sound like us.
Season: Springtime – it’s breeding season. (Gobble, gobble)
Food: Pretty much anything I find on the ground, but I especially like berries and bugs.
Favorite place to be? In the woods hanging out in an oak tree.
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