Good grief, Charlie Sheen | PostIndependent.com

Good grief, Charlie Sheen

April E. Clark
Post Independent
Glenwood Springs, CO Colorado
April in Glenwood
ALL |

Sometimes there really is more to life than winning. That all depends on whose standards of winning – Charlie Sheen’s or mine.

Big difference.

Just like the turbulent lives of Anna Nicole Smith, Lindsay Lohan, or pre-Iron Man Robert Downey Junior, the Hollywood drama surrounding Mr. Sheen have people in uber-voyeuristic mode lately. They – and who I really mean is I – can’t turn away from the nonsensical interviews and one-liners that are as much a mystery to me as a Scooby Doo episode.

Just watch, this will all end with Charlie Sheen ripping off his scary disguise to reveal he’s been the owner of a dilapidated campground the whole time.

For a comic, the Charlie Sheen material is just too good to be true. Especially since we’re so close to Aspen, which has its own Charlie Sheen drama stamp. Tiger blood and Adonis DNA? I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. But Charlie Sheen can.

And he doesn’t seem to be stopping anytime soon.

Over the weekend, Sirius XM radio launched the new Tiger Blood Radio on Sirius XM.

This newest development of the Charlie Sheen saga of winning includes being fired from “Two and Half Men” and dropping lines willy-nilly like, “I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen.”

“I am on a drug. It’s called April Clark” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

With the help of non-stop references to winning, Charlie Sheen somehow set a Guinness Book of World Records for the fastest time to reach 1 million Twitter followers. He has since moved on to 2 million-plus, and counting. By Twitter standards, he is on the top of the food chain, collecting followers like its his job.

Technically it is his job, since Warner Bros. fired him Monday.

Like anyone with 2.2 million Twitter followers, Team Sheen needs help with the everyday responsibilities of tweeting and keeping 2.2 million followers entertained. This is no joke, Charlie Sheen is seeking a #TigerBloodIntern for a paid internship that screams reality TV masterpiece. The application asks potential #TigerBloodInterns to state in 75 characters or less why they should be the Social Media Intern.

I wonder if “#TigerBloodSucks doesn’t have the same ring to it” on my resume would land the job.

I imagine if I were the #TigerBloodIntern, I would come up with even nuttier references to keep the followers coming, like “@charliesheen Still #WINNING with a lion’s gall bladder” or “@charliesheen warlocks wear tube socks and undershirts.”

The first time I watched the preview to Charlie Sheen’s most-quoted interview, I felt some type of social media premonition that only a social media freak like me senses.

Simply, he had me at Tiger’s Blood.

It’s not that easy to throw around references to tiger’s blood without people noticing, or stating, “I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen”. Ironically, Charlie Sheen is the new social media drug. His name and his brand have for the first time that I can recall in my social media experiences, reached the top of the Twitter value charts. ABC reported that Sheen’s Tweets are valued at $52,000. When talking that kind of money, someone’s no twit. And someone is #WINNING.

There’s a winner in all of us.

– April E. Clark is in it to win it this weekend in the Carbondale Fashion Show. She can be reached at aprilelizabethclark@yahoo.com.


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