Torres column: Why many people give up so easily
Before you read this article, I want to tell you that it’s geared toward people who are ready to achieve their goal. My goal is to persuade you to get all your potential out.
According to statistics, in the U.S. there is one divorce approximately every 36 seconds. That is close to 2,400 divorces per day and 876,000 divorces a year. Ninety five percent of people who lose weight regain the lost weight within months or years. Eight out of 10 businesses close within 18 months.
Those statistics tell us many things. Why do so many people quit or fail? Could it be because they got bored or they changed their mind? Because things became difficult? Or maybe it’s because the small percentage who succeed are especially driven. There are many reasons and factors and excuses.
My past relationships did not work. I am part of the statistics. I know my excuses, and because I am aware of them, I am not willing to make the same excuses or mistakes again.
The truth is that when some people get married, they think that they will be in a honeymoon forever without having to work at it. Many people think that losing weight is just taking a pill and dancing to their favorite song. Others think that by opening a business people will just come in and request their service or product without them having to put out any effort. I wish it were that simple. My life would have been easier, and I could have avoided being part of the statistics.
Everything has a price, and who is willing to pay it gets the reward. That’s very simple and fair, I believe.
We do things because we want to be happy. If we find a mate it’s because we plan to be happy and succeed. If we start a weight-loss program, we want to have a nice body or good health. If we open a business, we want to provide services that are needed and have some freedom. We usually don’t find an intimate partner, start a weight-loss program or open a business with the intention of failing. Then why don’t more people succeed?
Many people think about the easy parts but never about all the difficulties that come with it. Having a family, a nice body or a business is not easy, but it is rewarding. Here is the problem: We focus on the hard events and don’t focus on the reward.
When things become difficult, we just want to send everything to the trash. That’s because we like easy things and don’t like it when it’s painful. However, if a small percentage can succeed, we can too, and I am going to reveal the secret to you.
Here is the secret. Stop focusing on how painful and difficult it is, and start focusing on all the rewards you will get. If you focus on how difficult it is to listen to your significant other or on the disagreements or on getting out of your comfort zone to show them that you love them or when money becomes a problem and you two can’t get along or when your beliefs get in the middle, of course you will feel more pain than pleasure.
Instead focus on the companion, support, trust, teamwork, understanding and that you two are creating a family. This will make it easier. Of course, there are other things to take in consideration to make a relationship work, but using the easy way out is not the answer.
The same happens with losing weight. Focusing on the soreness, the hours of exertion, cooking, going to the grocery store, planning your meals, lifting weights, the burning muscles or the run in the cold is going to be painful. But what happens when you focus on the nice body, the increase in energy, being more confident, being independent, doing anything you like to do because you are in shape, or wearing what you want to wear? Adopting a healthy lifestyle is easier.
Owning a business is the same. All businesses have problems with employment, members, products, vendors, contracts, marketing, legal issues, reputation, maintenance, finances … you name it. However, what if I focus on how rewarding it is when people come to me and say, “Thank you, you have changed my life.” Or the opportunity that I have to contribute positively to this world by donating money to organizations that are improving it, or to be able to go for my walks when I am stressed, or the freedom I have to bring my dogs with me everywhere, or to create new concepts that I can apply to help other people. When my focus is not on the problems but instead on the reward, I continue moving forward.
Be ready for the difficulties, but don’t focus on them. Focus on the pleasure your goal is going to bring you. The more you think about all the good things all the effort you’re putting in is going to bring you, the easier it gets. Yes, it is not something that is going to happen overnight. It is a new program that you need to practice every day until your brain gets it. Understand that it is human nature to run away from pain. You need to be conscious of what pain you are running away from. I don’t blame you for that. I run from pain as well. But I have developed an awareness to distinguish between good pain and bad pain.
Focus all your energy on the results and understand that only those who can do so will achieve their goals.
Sandro Torres is owner of Custom Body Fitness in Basalt and Glenwood Springs and author of the books “Lose Weight Permanently” and “Finding Genuine Happiness.” His column appears on the second Monday of the month.
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