Late-night overeating = formula for fat |

Late-night overeating = formula for fat

Steve Wells
Personal Trainer
Steve Wells

Here is a sure way to pack on the pounds — late night overeating. Anyone who knows anything about bulking up for football knows that pigging out late at night does the trick. There is nothing better than skipping breakfast, overeating at dinner, having dessert, watching some TV, eating again late at night, dinking around on the phone, and then finally complaining to your trainer that you can’t lose weight.

Some people can get away with slamming a whole bag of microwaved popcorn while watching the radiation screen, but if you are having issues, controlling the late night binge is one of many steps in the right direction.

One can only speculate how many of us are “pre-diabetic,” but deductive reasoning may suggest that since more than 30 million people are currently diagnosed with diabetes there must be a lot of us slipping dangerously close to hanging out with Wilford Brimley. I see many people who think they just want to lose a few pounds but are in fact dangerously close to a metabolic crisis.

Practice some good common sense habits before you start surfing for the latest self-diagnosis on YouTube. Since symptoms like diabetes are mostly caused and cured by our own behavior, it makes sense to put as much effort into good behavior as you do self-diagnosis.

My thoughtful, spiritual intent juxtaposes sharply against the heartless machine of online commerce and the blinding glitter of retailers in the most important season of their year.

We carry many childhood habits into adulthood. It’s cool to embrace your inner child, just not the eating habits. They must change as caloric demand diminishes. Most of us can’t eat like we did when we were in our 20s. If I ate like I did in college I’d be waiting in line behind Wilford at the clinic for more diabetes meds and hopefully some free oatmeal, too.

It’s not you. We’ll, it’s part you and part the poisonous food and drugs that our *healthfare leaders are peddling. Rest easy because you can trust the FDA and the USDA.

I’m not trying to ruin your fun by getting you to change habits that I have to pay for with my new healthfare plan. I’m just shouting that if you really want change, you have to be willing to kill a few childish habits instead of pointing fingers at everyone else.

You can only fool your body for so long — remember it’s way smarter than you and can often be quite vengeful. So when you dump 1,000 calories of GMO junk into your gut late at night while getting a totally safe dose of radiation, you are really making things difficult for your body. You are disturbing your entire metabolism, sleep, hormone function, recovery and setting yourself up for avoiding breakfast and chugging chemical lattes all morning just to survive. All this just to enjoy the comfort of watching “American Horror Story” — as if the news was not enough of a horror story for you.

“How is that working for you?” Dr. Phil’s best line, in my opinion. If things are so screwed up throughout the day that it takes a bottle of wine and two hours of watching the screen to de-tune, you might want to try fixing things that happen throughout the day. This will curb the physical and emotional dependency at night and you might actually get some sleep.

What does this have to do with fitness? To get or stay fit, you have to create an environment in which it could possibly happen. A wise musician friend once told me, “It’s not the axe, it’s who’s chopping!” Which means that it’s not the diet plan or the workout or the cool new $200 work-out outfit — its you! If bad behavior outweighs the good for the majority of the time, no trendy workout app is going to help you improve.

In my opinion we should all take control of our own behavior first, then we’ll work on changing the U.S. food and drug cartel, since changing our behavior might be easier and safer.

*Healthfare is a combination of healthcare and welfare since they are one in the same in my opinion, which is based strictly on the deplorable results from both programs. Please feel free to use the term healthfare if you are courageous enough.

Steve Wells is a personal trainer and co-owner of Midland Fitness. His column appears on Tuesdays.

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