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More Betty, less bad boys

April E. Clark
Post Independent
Glenwood Springs, CO Colorado
April in Glenwood
ALL |

There are way too many bad boys lately in the news. And no, I’m not talking about Brian Williams.

Unless bad means good, of course.

I can’t seem to go online or turn on the TV without hearing about the major culprits – Tiger Woods, Jesse James, Dick Dastardly – and their cheating ways. Golfers, chopper builders and cartoon racecar drivers gone bad.



Maybe the world really is going to end in 2012.

The women on the bad end of these deals – the Sandy Bullocks and the Elin Woods of the world – are so darn sweet they make these guys look like Charlie Manson in a Freddy Krueger costume. Those on Team Tiger must really love the Masters or the game of golf. Maybe they’re so hopped up on energy drinks, they don’t even care.



Which is probably a lot of America right now.

As of late, joining Team Jesse James is like posseing up with the original Team Jesse James. I probably wouldn’t advise it, especially if the wife is on Team Sandra. That offers two options. Either sleep on the couch. Or confirm, just like the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, that Sandra Bullock did indeed pull off an Oscar-winning performance in “The Blind Side.” And admit it’s the best movie ever made.

Which is probably a lot of America right now.

All this scandal in sports, Hollywood and cartoon land has me thinking. We need more positive stories. This world needs more Betty Whites. Demi Moores. Lois Griffin. The latter is the wife on “The Family Guy,” for those who don’t do adult cartoons.

That’s not a reference to any of the events surrounding the above-mentioned celebrities.

Betty White comes to mind because I read she was angry with Jesse James for his wrongdoings. If anyone in the world is going to be mad at me, I hope it’s never Betty White. Her sugary sweet roles on “Password” and “Golden Girls” alone would cause me guilt as heavy as my carry-on luggage if she didn’t like me. I can’t even deal with my mother being disappointed.

Let alone Rose Nylun.

Spreading the cheer of Betty White isn’t exactly a task. Since it’s online on Wikipedia, it’s not a little-known fact that The City of Los Angeles named her Ambassador to the Animals in 2006. She’s hosting “Saturday Night Live” May 8, so that pushes her up in the ranks as a comedy heroine. And, did you see her on “The Golden Girls?”

The woman can do no wrong.

Like Demi Moore. First, she married Ashton Kutcher, automatically scoring her huge brownie points. Second, according to Wikipedia and the New York Times, Moore is the “world’s most high profile doll collector.” I have yet to meet a mean doll collector, so I have to believe this is another great Demi Moore character quality. Plus she formed a charitable organization against sex slavery and starred in “Ghost.”

I haven’t viewed the pottery wheel the same since 1990.

And Lois Griffin?

She’s married to Peter Griffin. And she still doesn’t cheat.

Tiger and Jesse could learn a thing or two.

April E. Clark is becoming more and more of a Chelsea Handler fan these days. She can be reached at aprilelizabethclark@ postindependent. com.


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