I haven’t written to you lately because I have been busy working on my campaign. Yes, I have decided to run for president of the United States.
In the aftermath of the Iowa caucus, I have decided it is time to jump into the race. I will of course run as an independent. I do not wish to affiliate with the far left or the far right. They are so angry.
As I see it, the 20 percent of the voters left of Howard Dean are lost. The 20 percent of the voters to the right of Rush Limbaugh are also lost. The voters to the left of President Bush and to the right of John Fitzgerald Kerry are my target.
My platform you ask? Quite simply, I am for everything and against nothing. I am for continuing the war and for ending the war; I am for a fair trial for Saddam and I am for blowing his brains out; I am for tax cuts and I am for raising taxes; I am for Roe v. Wade and I am pro-life; I am for health care for all and for no health care at all; I am for unlimited immigration and Social Security benefits for all; I am for deporting all illegal immigrants and closing the border.
As you can see, I can’t lose. Being for everything is the politically correct wave of the future. It is such a good feeling too.
Wow, I’m impressed (as usual) with Re-1. They’re going to spend tax money (hire a consultant) to convince us to raise taxes once again via a bond issue.
My basic gripe is ” why a consultant? ‘Scuse me, but isn’t this undertaking the sina qua non of a superintendent’s responsibility? If it is not, just what is it a superintendent does to justify a salary that has always been at least twice what it ought to be?
Adding insult to injury, Fred Wall then says with input from the consultant the district will go back to parent groups and each school accountability committee and ask them what they think are the district’s most pressing needs! ‘Scuse me again, but shouldn’t the superintendent be on top of that? All over it six ways to Sunday with a list of “needs”?
Just what is Wall superintending? I know overseeing women and children is a staggering duty, but surely he does more. I know he superintends self-esteem, diversity and political correctness in all schools. Aah, that’s it, no wonder the walls are crumbling “- no time. Priorities, you know!
Yes, government school superintendents are real world-beaters. Can-do managers. That’s why “75 percent of the school district’s existing school buildings are more than 30 years old and need major repair, retrofitting or replacement.” I doubt it is true, however.
So, folks, get ready for Re-1’s crying towel ” the choruses of “children ” our most precious resource” and “our children are our future.”
Thanks for listening,
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