New Castle April 1 police report
Glenwood Springs, CO Colorado
Editor’s note: The New Castle Police Department has broken its permanent veil of silence on this rare occasion to report the following incidents and arrests. Summonses or arrests merely indicate an accusation, and the defendant is presumed innocent unless found guilty in court.
Warrant arrest: After receiving a citizen complaint at 4:30 p.m. on March 20 that there aren’t enough sweets available downtown, officers conjured up a warrant for a local baker. Patti Cake, 39, of New Castle was located at her place of business downtown and arrested on the warrant for failure to make enough cupcakes.
Laughing in public: Officers on foot patrol at 9 a.m. on March 21 noticed a local woman smiling and laughing while in conversation with other people, including juveniles, in violation of a municipal ordinance against such behavior. Doreen Dolan, 39, of New Castle was cited for smiling and laughing in a public place and contributing to the frivolity of minors.
Noise violation: Officers were called to a disturbance at the Kiddies’ Paradise Child Care Center on Ginseng Road at 10 a.m. on March 22. Neighbors complained that the youngsters were giggling, squealing, popping wheelies on their tricycles and generally disturbing the peace. Rather than cite the day care management, officers decided to get to the heart of the problem and issued 14 citations for disorderly conduct and noise violations to the offenders, ages 2, 3 and 4.
Laziness: Officers received a report from Evelyn Busybody at 2 p.m. on March 22 reporting that a neighbor was outdoors on his deck sunbathing in the middle of a weekday afternoon. Bert Wert, 39, a Castle Valley househusband, was cited for catching some rays, distracting neighbors and a public display of laziness.
Tampering: City Markup store manager Heinz “57” Ketchup called police at 6:30 a.m. on March 23 to report a suspicious incident. Someone had sneaked into the grocery store the previous night and changed the sound effects in the produce aisle from the thunder and rain soundtrack to a jarring mash-up of roaring lions, squawking magpies and ringing doorbells. An investigation revealed a few muddy paw prints, but no suspects have been identified.
Illegal dumping: Bodelia Shelley, librarian-in-chief at the New Castle Branch Library, called police at 9:30 a.m. on March 26 to report that the new library’s shelves were sagging under the weight of hundreds, if not thousands, of back issues of the National Geographic magazine. Shelley told officers that library staff had planned to begin moving the library’s books back into the remodeled building that day, but discovered that people have been sneaking in the back door for weeks, unloading decades of magazine collections.
Exposure, possession of swine: At 12:35 p.m. on March 27, police contacted a man for exposing rock at the Pup Tent climbing area north of New Castle. Ryan Bladder, 37, of New Castle, is accused of removing climbing gear from the sheer rock face, exposing the natural limestone beneath. Bladder, a known anti-climbing activist, also was found to be in possession of bacon while having a restraining order prohibiting him from consuming pork. The bacon was confiscated and Bladder was issued a summons.
Gambling ring: GSPI football picks feline Wadsworth, 2, was arrested at 3:34 p.m. on March 27 for allegedly running an illegal gambling ring out of his condo complex on River View Drive in New Castle. Police were tipped off to the ring by the prognosticating cat’s owner, who was still upset the feline bet against the 49ers in the NFC Championship game.
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