Not a Typo: Local cat to open catnip dispensary
APRIL FOOLS – After spending the last several months working in the shady world of illegal catnip sales, Typo, the Glenwood Springs Pest Dependent’s office feline, is taking the catnip business above ground.
Done dealing in the alley behind the newspaper’s Grand Avenue office, the gray-and-white cat will be opening her own medicinal catnip dispensary in mid-April.
“It’s about time I make this business legit,” Typo said through a translator. “There are all sorts of sick kitties out there who will benefit from my product.”
Typo will run her business atop the catwalk perched above the Post Independent newsroom. A recently passed state law granted the entrepreneurial feline the liberty to pursue her latest venture, and Glenwood’s cat community is welcoming the news.
“This is great news,” said Tickles, a tabby who suffers from scratching post elbow. “It’s a crime I’ve had to go the underground route to manage my pain all this time.”
“Typo’s a saint,” added Crockett, a calico battling glaucoma. “What she’s doing for us local cats is a wonderful thing.”
Mittens, a Siamese who was recently diagnosed with cat scratch fever, is excited to see the selection of catnip offered by Typo.
“I hope she has some purrrrrple haze,” he said. “It helps take the edge off and really aids my digestion … mice can sometimes be tough to swallow.”
Mittens is in luck. A preliminary menu offered by Typo includes purrrrrple haze, kennel cough, catbox diesel, mouse kush and chasing lights.
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UPDATE 5:27 p.m. — Interstate 70 through Glenwood Canyon has reopened in both directions Saturday evening after a safety closure due to a flash flood warning. There were no reported mud/debris slides.