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Point & Click

Have you noticed that the word “October” – more than any other month – is ripe for having a lot of slangy catch-phrases attached to the front of it? Whether it’s a sale, a concert, or a celebration, the word October provides a bounty of endless possibilities for tweaking.What got me thinking about this was a press release I got in the newsroom. Since I’m the health reporter, all the health-related releases come to me.This one announced, get this, “Proctober.” Yes, that’s right. The National Prostate Cancer Coalition is promoting a celebrity online auction this month and calling it “Proctober.”I’m all for cancer awareness, but there’s got to be a more tasteful way to raise consciousness than to re-name the month in this manner. And it doesn’t help that “Proctober” brings to mind not only prostates but proctology. Yeeks. We’ve seen much more obvious October prefixes used time and again. “Rocktober” has got to be the most overused. “Rocktober” typically is connected to concerts and music, but with MTV getting on the “Rock the Vote” bandwagon, “Rocktober” recently became the final call for people to register to vote. The deadline’s over on that one, so we’re back to plain old “Rocktober.” The word “October” rhymes with so many things that coming up with lyrical prefixes is pretty easy. But sometimes, I guess, the word play doesn’t even have to rhyme. A truck ad I tore out of “Newsweek” last week had 18 different types of GM trucks pictured, and “Truck-tober” printed in big letters. Some Madison Avenue-caliber advertising agency made some big bucks coming up with that one. But for that kind of money, I would think they could at least get the rhyme right.In honor of the sheer oddity of “Proctober,” we put on our thinking caps and came up with a list of truly stupid ways to mangle the name of this month in order to promote any number of causes. Herewith, a sampling of possible October promotions:• Bachtober – to promote classical music by a famous, late-17th-century composer• Hocktober – to promote pawn shops• Smocktober – to promote artists and the clothing they wear to avoid getting paint on themselves• Locktober – to promote security devices … or• Lochtober – to promote all things Nessie (you know, that long-necked creature who hangs out in a Scottish loch)• Loxtober – to promote eating bagels with salmon and cream cheese• Docktober – to promote “sitting on the ___ of the bay”• Spocktober – to promote pointy ears and Leonard Nimoy• Jocktober – to promote athletes and/or a type of support male athletes wear• Knocktober – to promote door-to-door salesmen or Jehovah’s Witnesses• Glocktober – to promote a particular Austrian firearms company• Poxtober – to promote chicken pox vaccines• Crocktober – to promote using a big heated pot to cook stuff in• Chalktober – to promote teacher appreciation• Talktober – to promote verbal communication• Clocktober – to promote being on time• Socktober – to promote a sock sale … or• Soxtober – to promote the Red Sox whipping Yankees arse! Please!• Mocktober – to promote coming up with goofy prefixes for OctoberWe came up with several more, but since this is a family newspaper, I left them out (suffice it to say, one had to do with roosters, but we don’t need to go there). We tried doing the same thing with the other months, but it wasn’t nearly as much fun. And, we didn’t try that hard, because it’s not easy to come up with something that rhymes with February, let me tell ya. Or January for that matter. Or December, August or July. But if you think of one, let me know.Carrie Click is a reporter at the Post Independent. She, reporter Greg Massé, copy editor Dan Thomas and copy editor April Clark took five minutes from writing about the upcoming election to come up with the above list. Carrie can be reached at 970-945-8515 ext. 518, or cclick@postindependent.com. Carrie Click is a reporter at the Post Independent. She, reporter Greg Massé, copy editor Dan Thomas and copy editor April Clark took five minutes from writing about the upcoming election to come up with the above list. Carrie can be reached at 970-945-8515 ext. 518, or cclick@postindependent.com.


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