Sen. Bennet, bikes, business & blather
Colorado U.S. Senator Michael Bennet embarked last week on a statewide “Coloradans Don’t Shut Down” tour, getting in the trenches with hard-working wage earners and gaining insight from small business owners.
On Oct. 24, he stopped in Grand Junction to work at two hip-happening places — Edgewater Brewery and Brown Cycles; beers and bikes are a big economic driver and favorite avocation for many in the Grand Valley.
For a little fun outside the norm, I talked with Chris Brown, owner of Brown Cycles, for a tongue-in-cheek interview about working alongside Sen. Bennet.
TD: What an honor to have a U.S. senator work with you, even for an hour. Based on what you know about Sen. Bennet’s qualifications, what position was he best suited for in your shop?
CB: I didn’t get to read his resume beforehand. I prefer not to do that. Most resumes are lies, lies, lies. It’s easier for me to toss a man into the cauldron and see what he has, rather than all the words, words, words.
TD: What did you do to prepare for his visit?
CB: Hang Hillary posters in the bathroom.
TD: If you were to pay him for that hour, what would he have earned?
CB: He brought too many friends to work with him. He was distracted, so I would have paid him about $3.50 for what he did.
TD: Was he a quick study? How were his chain-lube skills?
CB: He was a quick learner. He liked the air gun the best. Most men do.
TD: Did he work hard, or could you tell he would be a slacker like most liberals?
CB: His quality was lacking. Seems like he missed a couple steps. I saw him a lot with his arms draped over the workstand jawing.
I would like to get him on the sales floor. Like most liberals, he could probably sell you something you don’t want or need, which is always great for business.
TD: Did you let him know that health benefits aren’t included in the job because the Affordable Care Act would take care of him?
CB: We didn’t get to talk about health care plans. It’s best not to send people to websites that don’t work.
TD: Any lasting memories of your hour together?
CB: He asked me if it was time to upgrade his Trek bike. Of course, every day is a great time to upgrade your bike.
But in all seriousness, he had a very calm demeanor and was interested in what everybody had to say. All in all, a good egg.
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Five candidates are running for three seats on the Garfield Re-2 school board this year.