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Serious advice from a couple of comics

April E. Clark
Post Independent
Glenwood Springs, CO Colorado
April in Glenwood
ALL |

It’s time to add talk radio life coach to my resume. And this time, I’m actually being serious.

Sort of.

I never thought I’d ever say, “Hello, I’m a life coach!” in my lifetime. Sure, I’ve given advice to friends and family when they’ve needed it. I’m much better at offering advice such as, “C’mon, everybody’s doing it!” and “It’ll make you feel good!” with that sing-songy voice that always indicates trouble. I prefer advice that requires happy thoughts and rainbows, although sometimes crying goes along with my counsel.



Like the time I tried to tell a friend she shouldn’t get married, but she did it anyway.

Typically I’m not one to just offer up my opinion about how I think people should live their lives. Mostly I think other people’s lives are none of my business. Unless they’re part of my comedy act. Or they ask for my help.



Then it’s game on.

As the famous “Field of Dreams” movie quote goes, “If you build it, they will come.” This is the theory behind my life coaching career, which is in its infancy so it really couldn’t be called a career. More like a really fun idea worked up between me and my fellow columnist and comic friend, Steve Skinner. He also happens to be KDNK community radio’s general manager.

That helps with the talk radio part of talk radio life coach.

I’ve been dabbling a little bit in radio with comedy promotion, and I volunteered for KDNK’s annual Labor of Love auction last November. I am secretly trying to be a queen of all media, like Oprah.

All I need is a secret half-sister and a spiritual union with a guy named Stedman and I’ll be set.

Something tells me my new-found radio obsession’s not going to pay as much as “The Oprah Winfrey Show” and, now, The Oprah Winfrey Network. But who am I to rain on my own marching-to-the-beat-of-my-own drum parade. Steve and I could be the next best thing to Howard Stern and Robin. We could take this talk radio life coaching endeavor all the way to the super-stardom. But we’re going to need to keep our Carbondale studio.

I’m not sure I could handle the New York City traffic.

Last week, Steve and I did a trial run on our own radio show. We went with the Sage Counsel as our name. My mom thinks that’s a little boring, so we’re testing it out with several focus groups. Our first caller didn’t necessarily seek our advice, but he did prompt some discussion about the new remake of “True Grit” and Old Milwaukee beer.

His voice slightly resembled a Jerky Boy – I’m aging myself there.

Our second caller had a question about the positioning of his girlfriend’s tattoo on her body and whether he was up to marrying her because of his disapproval. It was the old Harley-Davidson-tramp-stamp dilemma, which I imagine many couples face these days now that 2001 has come and gone and the lower-back tat is out of fashion. I suggested tattoo removal, or maybe some make-up. Then I tried my argument that maybe the caller’s girlfriend was tattooed in the lower-back region before all the tramps started getting stamped there.

I often tell myself that advice, but I really don’t buy it.

We did have a couple of calls that were a little more serious in nature, regarding quitting smoking. That’s a hard feat, especially when smoking seems to be the way for many to relax in this stress-filled world. Not to mention nicotine is not the easiest drug to kick. Our caller seemed on the right track, though. She was going cold turkey for the sake of her kids, and for that Steve and I commended her. Then we had another caller call in and suggest a self-help book on the topic.

My favorite caller turned out to be my brother, who I didn’t recognize at the time. He wanted to know my thoughts on Ricky Gervais after the Golden Globes debacle. I suggested everyone lighten up a bit. He is, after all, a comedian.

All in all, Steve and I offered some sound advice. But, more importantly, we had a few good laughs in our half-hour time slot.

If that’s not talk radio life coaching I don’t know what is.

April E. Clark is laughing with you, not at you. She promises. April can be reached at aprilelizabethclark@yahoo.com.


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