She Says: Let’s hope this is the final | PostIndependent.com
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She Says: Let’s hope this is the final

Kimberly NicolettiSpecial to the Post Independent

This is how I arrived at “Final Destination 3”: I didn’t want to watch two kids movies in a month (which eliminated “Curious George”), so I ended up seeing two teen horror movies in a row. Had I known, I would’ve picked “George.”Much like the last bad teen horror movie we reviewed last week, “Final Destination 3” begins at a carnival; I think the Horror Producers of America score two-for-one rental discounts if they use the same merry-go-round in their films.Unlike “When a Stranger Calls,” the directors of “Final Destination 3” settled for zooming in on details of rides and creepy tarot-reading games rather than even aim for something close to artistic shots.And when it came to gore, they pulled out all of the mannequins and vats of fake blood they could find – which, I’m sure was difficult after “Underworld Evolution.” Between the blood used in “Underworld Evolution” and that used in “Final Destination 3,” I don’t think California’s Y2K energy crisis could hold a candle to the severe shortage of fake blood Hollywood now faces. I can see it now: City councils passing resolutions to limit the amount of blood spilled in a movie so that other sick producers who need to vomit their high school emotional traumas all over the screen have enough of the red stuff to fulfill their twisted obsessions.In “Final Destination 3,” Mary Elizabeth Winstead plays Wendy, yet another brunette teenager scared out of her mind. This time, Death stalks her and her classmates. Rather than waste cell phone minutes to warn her of impending doom, Death dials directly into her mind by way of premonition. Of course, much like the cop in “When a Stranger Calls,” no one takes the girl’s fear seriously until it’s almost too late.Wendy sees her friends die on a roller coaster, and indeed, they do – in the most gruesome ways – and directors make sure we see every chunk of flying flesh.Eventually, she realizes the ones who escaped death on the coaster are on a fast track downhill. Photos Wendy took at the carnival provide clues about how the rest of her chums will die, so she and classmate Kevin (Ryan Merriman) set off on a race against time – and Death.As such, the plot is predictable, the dialogue trite and the suspense lacking. Producers cast actors about three to five days before filming began, and it shows. Though the movie borders on campy and makes a stab at black humor, it doesn’t succeed at either. And, as a sequel, the premise holds no intrigue. So the final destination can hold nothing but boredom.A more appropriate tagline for the movie would be: “This movie will be the death of you.”


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