The joke book meets the jam |

The joke book meets the jam

April E. Clark
Post Independent
Glenwood Springs, CO Colorado
April in Glenwood

I’m officially into my birthday month and this year’s a big one. If 30 is the new 20, I’m ecstatic to be turning 29 this year.

We’ll have to see if 40 is the new 30, because I highly doubt it.

When I look back over my 30s, I feel many emotions. My move to Colorado highlights this adventurous decade of my life. I’m quite certain my life wouldn’t have the same characteristics if I hadn’t left my hometown comfort zone. Sure, I often feel the guilt of not being closer to family and friends. But I also really love the rivers and mountains.

Stop me if this sounds too much like a John Denver song.

I like the notion that every day I’m surrounded by the beauty that inspired John Denver to write. My parents have always been big JD fans, so I know his music like the jokes in my joke book.

On a side note, I recently discovered that the book I write my jokes in had a little run-in with jam while in my purse. This all came about because I had a leftover Monte Cristo sandwich in a to-go box that of course was served with jam.

Because all sandwiches made with ham and cheese should be dipped in egg batter, deep-fried, dusted in powdered sugar, and served with fruit preserves.

That’s how the joke book met the jam.

The rest is sticky pages and toilet humor.

All fruit preserve jokes aside, I have often found a parallel to those “Choose Your Own Adventure” (CYOA) books from my childhood that helped mold my thought processes. If I had not read so many CYOA books as a kid, my imagination might not have developed so exponentially.

I can come up with some far-fetched ideas sometimes. I can also twirl the baton and edit a scientific urology journal articles prior to submission.

It never hurts to keep my career path options open.

We all make choices that affect our life paths. At 31, I was at the end of a page that offered two adventures. I chose to leave a corporate job I loved for less cubical and more outdoors. I would say I thought outside of the box, but that little term has reached its lifespan with me. Whoever came up with that one created a cliche monster.

That actually has a nice ring to it as a job title.

Since moving to Colorado seven years ago, I’ve had too many adventures to list here. I thought I might come up with 39 things to do before I turn 39, but that has been done by blog. Plus, that would only give me two weeks to purchase a Porsche, visit the Turks and Caicos Islands, and raft the Grand Canyon.

Something tells me that’s not going to happen.

I could try 40 things to do before turning 40, but that just seems like a lot of things to do in one year. Running a marathon would be one of those lofty goals I could include on that list. But I know the only chance of me running 26 miles is if I’m stranded in the middle of nowhere without a car, or any other mode of transportation for that matter, and I happen to have a pair of running shoes and overflowing pockets of energy gels.

I’m also partial to my toenails, which I lost when I finished the half-marathon in Indianapolis. If I lost them at 13 miles, I’d hate to see what doubling that would do to me.

I’m typically up for adventure, unless it involves extreme heights or sharks, so I would like to spend my last year of my 30s trying things I’ve never done before now. Maybe I’ll make it to 10 things, or maybe I’ll go over 40.

I do know online dating will not be on that list, along with watching a full episode of “Sister Wives,” and going to a Justin Bieber concert. A list of 40 things not to do before 40 has much more potential for fun.

Stay tuned.

– April E. Clark was going to write about April Fool’s Day and Facebook relationship status changes but decided there would be too many inside jokes to share. She can be reached at

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