Try weaning me off of Halloween |

Try weaning me off of Halloween

April in Glenwood
April E. Clark
Glenwood Springs, CO Colorado
April E. Clark

It’s that time of year again, when creativity rears its wicked head.

Face paint, wigs, and glue-on mustaches are commonplace. Inappropriate is extraordinarily appropriate. And cross dressing is practically expected.

My Sonny Bono costume haunts many a friend to this day.

Second to Christmas and St. Patrick’s Day, which are in a first-place tie, Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. Halloween is so much fun, I almost wish it were celebrated twice a year. But like chocolate fudge drizzled on chocolate ice cream atop chocolate-frosted chocolate cake, that would be too much of a good thing.

I think we all learned that lesson from all the “Halloween” movie franchise.

I learned early on, from my parents’ close friends Bob and Marsha, Halloween can be celebrated at any age. Kids dress up for the candy. Cash prizes and an excuse to party with the opposite sex motivate adults to shamelessly portray dead rock stars and ’80s cartoon characters in a public setting.

For anyone dressing up as any of the Strawberry Shortcake dolls, please don’t forget the fruit-scented spray.

Bob and Marsha hosted epic Halloween parties that required total participation from guests. Even my dad, who rarely smiles in photos or dances at weddings, was a good sport and donned a Jason hockey mask to one of their parties.

Scary Dave can do.

Last year, Russ and I hosted a Halloween party that wasn’t quite as well orchestrated as a Bob-and-Marsha bash. That would require someone hiding under the food table and grabbing at people’s ankles as they make their plates. But I was definitely impressed with the creativity behind our guests’ costumes. The best impersonation had to be of my friend Rob Tramazzo, by my friend Jono.

Rob, just remember that old saying, “Imitation is the best form of flattery.”

I can’t say that’s why Russ and I dressed as John McCain and Sarah Palin, respectively.

Joe the Plumber did make an unexpected appearance, so we were covered on the political spoofs. Calleigh Duquesne from CSI: Miami, the Mario Brothers (one was really a girl, the other a guy), a genie with a very long bottle, and Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise and little Suri Cruise were on hand, too.

The cast of characters at Halloween parties can really be scary.

A few years ago, I had an equally memorable Halloween with my Colorado girlfriends. We all dressed up as rock stars. I was Kid Rock, while Kendra was Pamela Anderson (Rock star groupies were welcome.). Kendra went for the exaggerated version of Pam, complete with balloons that were actually mistaken for the real thing.

C’mon guys, really?

Kara was Axl Rose, and Susan – who has the perfect hair to pull this off – was Slash, from Guns ‘n’ Roses. We met up with Rob Tramazzo, who memorialized Kurt Cobain. Of course karaoke was a given that night, with Kendra and I singing the most unpleasant version of “Picture,” featuring Sheryl Crow, I’ve ever heard.

We should probably stick with Rob Base covers.

This year, I don’t think a vice-presidential candidate or celebrity rockers are in my sights. It is kind of fun to rock the fake facial hair, though. It’s between a cougar, with my cub in tow, or Elastigirl from “The Incredibles.” Or maybe Sonny Bono can make his comeback. I still have the glue-on hair for my chest and face. What fun is Halloween if you can’t haunt your friends for life?

Bob and Marsha would be proud.

April E. Clark is a hop, skip and a jump from L.A. this week. Maybe spot a celebrity and become inspired to choose a Halloween costume. She can be reached at

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