Veiled View to become Taj Mahospital |

Veiled View to become Taj Mahospital

Juan Estrada and Flibberty Gibbett
Staff Infections
Post Independent
Glenwood Springs, CO Colorado
Kelley Cox Post Independent photo illustration

APRIL FOOLS – Before rolling out the red carpet for its new “crown of medical palaces” later this year, Veiled View Hospital has announced a new name for the regional medical center and a major design change.

“We will no longer be known as Veiled View,” said CEO Barry Grewer. “I’m pleased to announce the new name will be the Taj Mahospital.”

A white dome will be added this year to the top of the multi-story hospital cancer center addition, modeled after the Taj Mahal in Agra, India.

Just as the Taj is recognized as “the jewel of Muslim art in India and a universally admired masterpiece,” Veiled View officials envision the new hospital structure as the “palace of healing.”

“We’ve moved on from the ‘health hotel’ concept, which seems pretty outdated,” said VVH board president Jest Carman. “By presenting the Taj Mahospital as a palace of healing, the hospital is going to become an irresistible attraction for the sick and injured.”

The $3 gazillion design change will require a new capital campaign, said Static Gavel, executive bottlewasher for the Veiled View Foundation, the hospital’s fundraising arm and leg.

“We’re taking a more market-based approach to this campaign,” Gavel said. “We will be rolling out several new for-profit ventures associated with the hospital that are designed to be big money-makers supporting the palace concept.”

The ventures include:

• The Gary Brewery, an on-site brewery of craft beers and a tasting room open to patients and their families.

• The Feinsinger Steakhouse, a cozy ground-floor bistro serving steaks, ribs and roast beef specialties, along with buttery desserts, all guaranteed to clog any artery.

• The Yajko Smoke Shoppe, where patients and their families can buy cigarettes, cigars and chewing tobacco.

• The Kelly Thomas Tanning Salon, offering cranked-up UV rays for a fast, dark tan.

• The Orthopaedic Bonemenders Climbing Wall, offering free solo, high-adrenaline climbing over a concrete floor.

In addition, the foundation is planning a few other low-key fundraisers in the coming weeks. It will host a hospital yard sale every Saturday in May to unload old hospital beds, patient gowns, bed pans and hard-copy medical records of past Veiled View patients.

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