Want some attention? Then show your butt! | PostIndependent.com

Want some attention? Then show your butt!

Fried Rice
Heidi Rice
Glenwood Springs, CO Colorado
Heidi Rice

“Honey, do you have a problem with naked butts?” I asked Husband-Head the other day.

He didn’t reply, but simply raised an eyebrow, hoping that I was suggesting something. …

“No, seriously,” I insisted. “Do bare bottoms offend you?”

“I guess it depends on the butt and who it’s attached to,” he said honestly. “But I’m not nudophobic, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Nudophobic,” in case anyone wants to know, is the fear of nakedness.

But come to think of it, Husband-Head was a fine art major in college and had taken a figure drawing class in which there were live, nude models.

“Actually, I took that class because I thought I was going to see all kinds of hot naked chicks,” he confessed. “My buddies never understood why I would cut the class to go drink beer, but I told them if they knew what was actually posing up there, they’d rather go drink beer, too.”

But naked butts seem to be the center of a lot of controversy – at least in the little western town of Silt, Colorado – over a sculpture that was recently unveiled in the middle of the town’s new roundabout.

One side of the sculpture features the backside of a human form climbing up the side of a rock. The figure does not appear to be male or female. And it does not have ears, hands or feet.

But it does have a crack in its butt.

While working on the story about the bare-bottomed statue, I spoke with a man who complained that he is completely disgusted with the sculpture and had a big problem with the “crack” in the figure’s butt.

Ironically, this guy is a plumber.

Shortly after the sculpture was unveiled, someone put a cloth over the naked butt, which resembled a pair of boxer shorts, to cover up the offending crack and causing early morning commuters to stop, gawk and even take pictures.

Apparently out here in the West, we like stories about naked butts. Because after writing the story, there was lots of feedback from readers.

“It’s now a ROUND-A-BUTT!” one guy called to tell me, who thought the whole story was a hoot.

Other people also had fun posting their comments on the Internet about the story, which gained national attention from local and statewide newspapers as well as network television stations.


• “Ummm … last time I checked, everyone has a butt!”

• “Crack kills.”

• “Yes, the original Greek Olympians are the first to climb rocks naked. Denver Ex-mayor Wellington Webb and current Mayor John Hickenlooper do it all the time. It’s just art to me and everyone should appreciate the arts.”

• “Perhaps a little art education for some of the people of Silt is in order. The best solution is for these people to spend some time in Europe at the museums.”

And the best.

• “At least it isn’t in Boulder … it would be a hairy butt then.”

The sculptor himself said the form was neither male or female, but simply the image of a human form rock-climbing, which is a popular activity in western Colorado.

“Wow, I hope the people having a problem with the butt don’t ever go to Rome or Greece,” I said to Husband-Head. “Michelangelo’s statue of David with all his stuff hanging out in the front would probably completely freak them out.”

Come to think of it, there’s an awful lot of naked people in the artwork of the Romans and the Greeks. Venus de Milo doesn’t have arms, but her breasts are bared. Then there’s Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love, whose name Aphrodite Kallipygos Raising Peplos translates to “Aphrodite of the Beautiful Buttocks.”

It seems mankind has been celebrating the beauty of the butt for many centuries.

To compare, seven miles to the west of Silt, the city of Rifle unveiled the artwork in the middle of its two new roundabouts of a cattle drive.

And all of the bulls and the cows are anatomically correct.

Yet no one has said a word about it.

However, one citizen has pointed out that the cowgirl on one of the horses seems to have a very “perky” chest …

Heidi Rice is a staff writer for the Post Independent. Visit her web site at http://www.heidirice.com to read columns or buy a copy of her book collection of columns, “Skully Says Shut It!” You can also blog with her or Husband-Head at http://www.heidirice.wordpress.com.

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