Number one: Reggie Bush ” Heisman Trophy winner ” as ‘Robin’ to Deuce McAllister’s ‘Batman,’ the French Quarter rocked, but as featured back?

The Saints revert to the ‘aints, and Bush is out for the season.

Carmelo Anthony. The Nuggies led their division because AI, K-mart and others are allowing Melo to be the mellow man instead of the main man.

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Before the Iverson trade, when expectations were high, Anthony lost his cool and got suspended ” he’s a great piece of a winning team, but the NBA isn’t Syracuse, and he’s Number Two.

Easy to choose Barry Bonds, the home run king being dragged through the grand jury mud, or A-Rod’s playoff performances, but when the Yankees lose a couple, the nation’s sports pages tremble, “What’s George gonna do?” He hasn’t mattered since ’95. Let him age in peace; put the focus on the field where it belongs. Steinbrenner is Number Three.

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The first thing that came to my mind with this question were the Big 12, Big 10, and Big East college football conferences, but they aren’t sports figures, just extremely overrated conferences. So if I am picking actual people, I’d have to pick David Ortiz from the Boston Red Sox, Brady Quinn currently from the Cleveland Browns (formerly from Notre Dame), and (a tie for third) Charlie Weis (Notre Dame) and Nick Saban (Alabama).

David Ortiz ” While he may be one of the best clutch hitters around, I think it is ridiculous to have the name of a designated hitter mentioned every year as a possible league MVP. His offensive numbers have been pretty good, but not good enough to make up for the fact that he never helps his team defensively.

Brady Quinn ” Any quarterback who has a little bit of success at Notre Dame often becomes the most overrated college quarterback in the nation and that’s because they get the most national exposure of any team with their TV contract.

If you look at Quinn’s first three years, you would see how extremely inconsistent he was, and in every big game against good teams he had very poor performances with his team getting blown out.

Charlie Weis ” Record this year, 3-9. Need I say more.

Nick Saban ” Let’s just say if I’m the guy who wrote this coach’s ridiculous salary check, I’ve really got to wonder why I paid so much for a coach who couldn’t even help his team beat Louisiana-Monroe (Louisiana who?).

1. Scott Boras. Hopefully Alex Rodriguez’s defection will be the beginning of a trend: not that players don’t deserve bulldog representation, but we’ve come a long way since Marvin Miller. Boras’ tactlessness is a PR black eye for baseball.

2. David Beckham. Sure has given professional soccer a shot in the arm, eh?

3. Jimmie Johnson. I hear he’s a very good driver. But so am I. Not a sport!

To name the three most overrated athletes today, I combed statistics, salaries, old memories, and ate a cake decorated like a Ouija Board. After much thought and procrastinating, I’ve whittled it down to one athlete in each of the three major sports (hockey doesn’t count since its playoffs are on the Supreme Court Channel, a.k.a. Versus).

In football, names popped in my head like Vick, LJ, Urlacher, Pennington, Ray Lewis, Favre (before this year), Palmer, Eli Manning, Tony Gonzales, Gerald Whilhite (always looked to fall down), Alexander, Sapp, Shockey, and even Montana and Marino. I finally settled upon Vince Young. I know he’s the Rookie of the Year, but he really can’t throw the ball accurately. That talent did well for Randall Cunningham and Mike Vick; real effective all the way to multiple playoff losses.

Baseball had many players in my noodle as well, most of them Yankees, but I settled upon Alfonso Soriano. The only reason he wins the honor is because Clemens is supposedly retiring until he decides he wants to be paid a gazillion dollars a pitch and a guaranteed 37 more commercials on the air than Peyton Manning.

Basketball has so many overpaid athletes that I actually had convulsions reading Raef LaFrentz’s salary is $12 million a year. Ben Wallace, Dirk, Shaq (over the hill), Vince Carter, Starbury, Webber, Steve Francis, Kirilenko, Szczerbiak, Jermaine O’Neal, Yao and Sam Cassell all make over $10 million a year and do not deserve it.

The dubious title however, is reserved for Kobe Bryant. The man can barely lead the Lakers to the playoffs without Shaq in his prime. He’s selfish, moody, and has a first name that reminds me of sushi.

There you have it, the three most overrated athletes today and I didn’t even mention Michelle Wie or all of NASCAR. I’m too far over my word count to explain any of the choices so just accept it from your future President or be destroyed.

Can I have Roger Clemens as at numbers one, two and three? Sure I can! I came up with the question. I really hate that guy, but I’ll think up a couple more for my list.

1. Brett Favre. I don’t care how amazing his 2007 season has been or how nice a guy Brett is, he gets the free-est of free passes. The man chucks the dumbest of passes and the media response is uniform: “Oh, that’s just Brett being Brett.” He’s a great quarterback, but hold him accountable like everyone else.

2. Phil Jackson. I could coach a Michael Jordan-in-his-prime-led team, or a team with the greatest big man of our generation and Kobe, to an NBA title. You hear he’s a great manager of personalities with his Zen-like approach to coaching. Shut up. Look at what happens when he doesn’t have starpower. Not much. The Lakers are a one-man show. Others are doing far more with far less ” Nellie at Golden State and Byron Scott in New Orleans, to name two.

3. Roger Clemens. Get over yourself, Rocket. He’s most overhyped in his own mind. He holds mid-game press conferences to announce his eighth un-retirement. And, seriously, your kids’ names are Koby, Kacy, Kory and Kody? Note the K theme. Get over yourself and retire!