Why go ‘Cellular’? | PostIndependent.com

Why go ‘Cellular’?

KIMBERLY NICOLETTI

“Cellular” wasted 94 of my minutes.I felt for Ryan (Chris Evans), the beach babe whose major goal in life revolves around winning the girl on good looks alone. He answers his cell phone, and bam – he’s caught in the middle of a deadly game. I walk into the theater, and bam – I’m stuck in a thriller that doesn’t quite make a connection.”Cellular” answers the minimum requirement of a thriller: suspense. But it loses reception in an attempt to be a good thriller. To be intense, a film needs to rely on more than cell phone gimmicks.”Cellular” builds plenty of tension, but it rings with a corny tune.Jessica Martin (Kim Basinger) busts out her heaviest breathing and most alarming screams to plead with Ryan once she hotwires a broken phone in the attic where abductors even more dull-brained than Ryan stash her.Once viewers make it through the busy signal of Ryan’s disbelief, we’re put on an arduous hold as Ryan rushes through Los Angeles in hopes of saving the distraught woman on the other end.While we’re waiting, the film tries to stimulate us with a car jacking, a low battery emergency, a wrong-way car chase, threats of lost phone reception, a distracted cop (thinking more of facials than forensics) and, of course, ticking minutes.Though the plot doesn’t have huge holes (unless you count things like the abductors not only failing to ensure Jessica – a crafty science teacher – didn’t have access to a working phone but also failing to notice at least two blaring clues that she is on the line), it doesn’t build the psychological tension key to an intense thriller.Instead it relies on crank calls to toll the sympathetic nervous system without bothering to dial up any intellectually stimulating intrigue.Even the true identity of the criminals is a cheap call.It’s not worth the $8.50 bill.You can try Kimberly Nicoletti at (970) 668-3998, ext. 245, but after watching “Cellular,” she probably won’t answer.You can try Kimberly Nicoletti at (970) 668-3998, ext. 245, but after watching “Cellular,” she probably won’t answer.


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