With Husband-Head’s help, the Pack is back
Glenwood Springs, CO Colorado
There are only two words that matter to Husband-Head this week as we head into the weekend.
These words aren’t uttered like a bunch of busty young women jumping up in skimpy outfits on the sidelines cheering on their team. No, this is serious stuff.
You see, Green Bay Packer fans don’t just watch a game. Packer fans LIVE for it. Packers fans even believe they have their own NATION for God’s sake.
And this weekend they will face off against one of their biggest rivals, the Chicago Bears, in the NFC Championship game.
How do I know all this you ask? You thought I didn’t know squat about football?
But in our Packer-ridden house you can’t get away from it. I see it every day… everywhere.
Husband-Head owns three-million pieces of Packer clothing and paraphernalia including: caps, coats, a parka, sweatshirts, T-shirts, a clock, koozie cups, bobble-head dolls, lunch boxes, coolers, a helmet – you get the idea.
I’d say he is definitely part of the Packer nation.
And he HATES “Da Bears.”
Actually, like a lot of Packer fans, I think he hates the Minnesota Vikings and Brett Favre more, but the Bears aren’t far behind.
In fact, it wasn’t until we lived in Wisconsin for a short time that I discovered that the rivalry doesn’t end with football – the people in these two states just don’t like each other. Illinois people refer to Wisconsin people as “Cheeseheads”, which doesn’t really seem to bother Wisconsinites much, seeing as they are happy to be seen at sporting events on national TV wearing big, yellow foam cheese wedges on their heads.
On the other hand, Wisconsin people are not so kind. Let’s just say they call people from Illinois “FIBs” which has nothing to do with telling lies and everything to do with “expletive-Illinois-expletives.”
This is not very nice, but I suppose it makes for an exciting football game…
When the Packers won against the Atlanta Falcons last weekend, I could hear the hooting and hollering coming from the group of inebriated guys in the mancave all the way in the house.
When the game was over, Husband-Head came into the kitchen with his arms raised over his head in victory and a beer clutched in each hand.
“Is it really necessary to drink two beers at the same time?” I asked doubtfully.
“Oh yes,” he assured me. “If I don’t drink my lucky Bud Light, the Packers wouldn’t win.”
These last football games are so big to Husband-Head that he has arranged his entire vacation time from work around them.
He took last Friday off and he’ll be taking Monday off next week, as well as the Monday after the Super Bowl.
“I wonder how many people call in sick after these games?” I asked him. “Does, like, half the male population play hooky from work?”
“Half the male population is in no condition to work,” Husband-Head explained. “And I’ll bet half the male AND female population in Wisconsin and Illinois don’t make it to work next Monday.”
It all seemed to make perfectly good sense to him.
“Oh, and by the way, we’re having a tailgate party on Sunday,” Husband-Head informed me. “I’m grilling out.”
I envisioned a bunch of us huddled around in the snow in front of the tailgate of our truck in the driveway…
And I knew the menu would encompass the ultimate Wisconsin soul food – bratwursts pre-cooked in beer and onions, rolls with mustard, potato salad and pickles.
And beer … lots and lots of beer…
“Make sure my lucky shorts and my lucky shirt are clean,” Husband-Head instructed. “I’ve been wearing them all season. You can’t change the uniform now.”
Like I said, this is serious stuff and Husband-Head is not messing around.
There’s only three other words besides “Go Pack!” that will mean as much to him this weekend.
“Go PACK Go!”
– Heidi Rice is a columnist for the Citizen Telegram and the Post Independent. Her column runs every Thursday in the CT and Friday in the PI. Visit her website at http://www.heidrice.com to see more columns are buy her book collection. Contact Heidi at http://firstname.lastname@example.org
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