Chacos column: We will be great again
October 8, 2018
The middle-aged, white man plays tricks in my head. Sometimes I want to be one, and sometimes I don't.
For the past few years I've been keeping an eye on my male peers. I solemnly swear, I never want to live a day in their shoes. They work long hours at a job or two and then come home to a lengthy "honey-do" list. A few are even required to do some of the laundry, like mine.
If they're lucky, a guy can come home to a few hot meals each week using the groceries he shopped for days earlier. I watch our guys take out the trash, fix the bikes and jump the car. Some men even dutifully tuck their kids into bed every night, walk the dog, pay the taxes and balance the family checkbook.
Why would anyone want that thankless job? Really, it's destined to flame out. It's unsustainable. I imagine that's why so many men are revolting and throwing in the towel. The current patriarchy is seriously flawed.
Women totally get it, don't worry. For the past few decades women have also been there and done that for a lot less money and for a lot less respect, too. But the current matriarchy is also seriously flawed.
Most of the time, women want to have your life anyway. This is because white men have options.
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Women want the option to voice opinions without being called shrill or told to grow up. Women want the option to get paid commensurate to male counterparts for doing the same job. Women want the option to leave a spouse and not be called a homewrecker or a woman who abandons her duty.
Options are so laced with freedom and equity that, without them, one easily becomes marginalized. That's why we fight for equitable opportunities based on race, creed, color, ethnicity, national origin, religion, sex, sexual orientation, gender expression, age, height, weight, physical or mental ability, veteran status, military obligations or marital status.
Most women aren't seeking to burn the patriarchy, because we don't necessarily want the same things. But we do want options, which presumes our equitable role in society. So, to the white man who has serious street cred these days, here is my plea:
The feminine is part of the whole. Her interconnectedness makes her smart and strong. But she needs help. May our masculine counterparts please step in and hear our voice. We seek your confidence.
The feminine is sacred and should be exalted. May our masculine counterparts please teach our children to honor her body and encourage strong men to do the same. We seek your safety.
The feminine is uniquely qualified to hold matters of the heart. May our masculine counterparts accept her role, cherish her and help her find a seat at the table if she wishes. We seek your humility.
Help bring back the balance in all of us. Then we will be great again.
Andrea Chacos lives in Carbondale, balancing work and happily raising three children with her husband. She strives to dodge curveballs life likes to throw with a bit of passion, humor and some flair.
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