A joyful Christmas at the company parties
Glenwood Springs, CO Colorado
One of the best parts of the holiday season is not only the presents you collect from under the tree on Christmas morning, but the fact that you get to attend work parties and drink in public without getting in trouble.
During the rest of the year, drinking in front of your boss and co-workers at the office is basically frowned upon, but at the holiday office party, it’s an activity that is actually encouraged.
In the last two weeks, Husband-Head and I have gone to both his company Christmas party and then mine.
Husband-Head’s office party is fun because his people really like to drink. Minutes after arriving, his boss slipped two drink tickets into my palm, on top of the two I had already received. However, getting totally smashed at your spouse’s party is not always advisable.
“You behave!” Husband-Head hissed in my ear after I used my second drink ticket.
“You wore underwear this year, didn’t you?” Yeah, but my dress is still really short. …
When drinking at holiday office parties, it’s important to remember that certain alcohols do not mix well together. For example, drinking gin and vodka and rum and tequila in the same evening will make you both stupid and sick. Stick to one flavor for the night.
If you don’t, it might lead to embarrassing situations like sidling up and whispering inappropriate comments or trying to kiss or fondle your co-workers. This can be especially embarrassing if the co-worker is of the same sex and had no IDEA. …
At my company Christmas party, however, these type of things don’t typically happen as it takes the two free coupons to get one drink. And on a journalist’s salary, nobody can afford a second one, so we all remain somewhat sober.
Except, of course, the people at my table. …
Instead, newspaper people are a really fun group and like to play games. My party consisted of a number of very entertaining games that ” if we’d had more drink tickets ” would probably have gotten us arrested. But I think because we have to cover such serious subjects throughout the year, such as murders, court cases, city council meetings and the Bob the Headless Chicken festival, we need to relax and let our hair down.
Which is why our party involved a fun game in which we were each given a name taped to our back and told that we had to guess who we were. The first clue was how hard the person next to you laughed when they saw what name you were given.
“Oh my GAWD!” the lady next to me laughed. “I’ll bet this is the first time you’ve ever been the richest person in the room!”
In order to determine who we were, we were instructed to ask a bunch of questions from the people at our table.
And when I looked at the name on Husband-Head’s back, I almost lost it.
“Am I dead or alive?” he asked.
“Oh, you’re dead,” I affirmed.
“Am I a woman or a man?” he continued.
“You were a woman,” I continued, and then decided to help him out a little. “But you were an older woman.”
I then made the sign of the cross and put my hands together in prayer.
“Am I Mother Teresa?” he asked.
That’s when I fell off my chair laughing, because he was right. As for my hints, somebody pretended that they were tapping on a computer keyboard and then rubbed their thumb with their fingers.
“Am I Bill Gates?” I guessed correctly.
But there were a bunch of fun names that included Big Bird, Bugs Bunny, Helen Keller, Muhammad Ali, Sean Connery, Chevy Chase and Bill and Hillary Clinton.
“How come there was no Monica Lewinsky?” I asked Husband-Head on the drive home. “That would have been funny.”
“Yes, and the clue would have been ‘You have a blue dress with a stain,'” he agreed.
Following the games was a slide show that, because there were no blank spaces on the wall, was shown on the ceiling.
“Oh my, I’ve had three margaritas and I don’t think I feel so good right now,” one woman at our table said as she stared straight up.
“I don’t know ANY of the people in these pictures,” another person piped up from behind. “Am I at the right Christmas party?”
But Christmas parties or not, the main goal is to enjoy the holidays and get together with friends and family.
Merry Christmas everyone!
Heidi Rice is a staff reporter for the Post Independent. Her column runs every Friday. Her new book is “Skully Says Shut It! Life, Love and Laughter With Husband-Head” is now for sale. Visit her website at http://www.heidirice.com.
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