Blue vests and Black Friday a bad combo | PostIndependent.com

Blue vests and Black Friday a bad combo

Heidi Rice
Post Independent
Glenwood Springs, CO Colorado

“Why do they call it Black Friday?” I asked Husband-Head as he got ready to go out and purchase some Christmas decorations he needed for the yard. “It sounds so ominous. I thought it was supposed to be the start of the fun holiday season.”

“I don’t know,” Husband-Head shrugged. “Because it’s the biggest shopping day of the year? As if you women need an excuse.”

I wanted to point out that I was not the one that was about to leave to go shopping. …

A couple of hours later he returned and was not in a good mood.

“Well, THAT was embarrassing!” he announced when he walked in the door.

“Apparently, I need some new clothes. …”

I looked up in amusement from the kitchen.

“Oh, do tell,” I urged. “I’ve never heard you ask for new clothes before. Usually, I have to fight you tooth and nail to throw away old clothes that you’ve worn to death.”

“You see this?” Husband-Head said, pointing to a vest he was wearing. “Let’s just say you shouldn’t wear this on your next trip to the store.”

Being that the vest we were talking about was a men’s extra-large and I wear a women’s small or medium, I hadn’t really planned on it.

“Why are we mad at the vest now?” I asked curiously. “My mother gave that to you last Christmas, instead of the cuddly puppy calendar or a pair of toe socks like she usually does. I thought you liked the vest.”

Not anymore.

“Where are the Christmas light timers?” a man had come up and asked

Husband-Head while he was in the store.

“How should I know?” Husband-Head said with a shrug. “Next to the Christmas lights?

The man scowled at Husband-Head and stormed off.

“What aisle are the extension cords on?” another woman asked Husband-Head a few minutes later.

“Ummm … in the same section as the tools?” Husband-Head answered. “But I have no idea what the aisle number is.”

That was not the answer the lady wanted.

A couple of more people approached Husband-Head with questions and he was starting to get irritated.

“I have no IDEA!” he finally yelled at one lady. “What … do I look like an information kiosk or something?”

The woman was stunned. “You are the most insolent young man I’ve ever seen!” she huffed. “I think I’m going to report you to your boss ” what’s his name?”

Husband-Head started to laugh at the absurdity of it all.

“His name is Chris, but we’re closed for the holiday weekend until Monday,” he said honestly.

“You are not closed, we’re obviously standing right here in the store,” she said with indignation.

All of a sudden, Husband-Head realized what had been happening.

“Lady, I don’t work here,” he said, now really starting to laugh. “I wasn’t trying to be rude, I just really don’t know where all the merchandise is located.”

Apparently, all the employees at this particular store wear vests. …

But while he was being mistaken for a store employee, I looked up Black Friday on the Internet to find out what it meant.

According to Wikipedia, the term “Black Friday” originated in 1965 by Philadelphia police who coined the term to describe the massive crowds and traffic jams downtown on the Friday after Thanksgiving and all the headaches it caused them. The name was eventually picked up in other areas of the country. And although Black Friday is not an official holiday, many people take the day off from work and go shopping.

“So now you know ” that’s why they call it Black Friday,” I reported to Husband-Head. “Although I’m sure the merchants don’t call it that.”

“Personally, I think people should just stay home and eat turkey leftovers,” he said. “But I don’t care ” I just don’t want anyone asking me anymore questions that I don’t have the answer to.”

Unfortunately, just then another question popped into my head.

“Why do they call it ‘Cyber Monday’? I asked.

Heidi Rice is a staff reporter for the Post Independent. Her column runs every Friday. Meet Heidi and Husband-Head at a book signing of her new book, “Skully Says SHUT IT! Life, Love and Laughter with Husband-Head,” from 1-3 p.m. on Saturday, Nov. 29, at the Sanborn Studio, 110 E. Third St. in Rifle. Books will be for sale.


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