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Dems do everything but leave mint on pillow

Lynn Burton

You gotta love that Democratic Party. It rolls you a lemon, and you get to toss it back as lemonade. That’s what happened when I received a recorded message from U.S. Senate candidate Tom Strickland on Monday. He told me to go vote, and even left a number on how to do it – 1-866-303-VOTE.This was the third time the Democrats bugged me on the phone in the past month, so it was well past time to launch a counterattack.The original plan was to violently punch in 1-866-303-VOTE on the phone, then loudly yell for them to remove me from their list. But then I thought, “What would Michael Moore do?”Moore is a film maker and humorous provocateur whose new movie, “Bowling for Columbine,” explores America’s gun culture with references to the Columbine High School shootings. Anyway, with Moore and his famously dorky attire as inspiration, I called 1-866-303-VOTE, told the operator I’d received three calls from the Democratic Party, then said, “As long as you’re making phone calls, I’d like to leave a wake-up call for Tuesday morning at 7 a.m.”Because the Democratic Party doesn’t run a sideline business as a wake-up service, it seemed like this request would bring at least a couple of questions from the operator, such as “Huh?” “You must have the wrong number,” or “What are you. Some kind of Republican nut?”But no. Without missing a beat, the operator calmly asked for my name and telephone number, and said someone would call the next day.And someone did!Right at 7 a.m.A pleasant woman identified herself as Marilyn and said, “It’s 7 a.m.”I mumbled, “Thanks” then ran a caller identification. The call came from a residence in Denver, and not party headquarters.I was afraid the Democrats would keep calling every morning at 7 a.m. until well into the next decade, but they didn’t on Wednesday, so this was probably a one-time thing. They might get the last laugh, though. If the Democrats have a “Don’t Ever Take These People Off Our Calling List” file, I’m probably right up there at the top.Amendment 31, which would virtually ban bilingual education, is one of the election season’s more emotional issues. The argument for bilingual education, often made by bilingual teachers who earn their living this way, is Hispanic kids need to be first taught in their native language, then taught English. It can take seven to 10 years for kids to master the language, some teachers say.Well, Amendment 31 may be a good idea or a bad idea, but I’m reminded of a high school friend.This guy, Tony, came to Oklahoma from Cuba with his parents as a grade schooler in the late 1950s or early 1960s. I didn’t meet Tony until we were juniors, but by then he spoke English like the rest of us. Better to the ears of some, because he spoke without an Okie twang. Tony made it through grade school, junior high and senior high without bilingual education and learned just fine. He went on to graduate from college and now operates his own business in New Jersey, where people really talk funny.-And speaking of another election ballot issue, Colorado residents are being asked whether Cesar Chavez’s birthday should be a state holiday.The late Cesar Chavez was a legendary labor leader, organizing agricultural workers from his base in California.There’s one thing I don’t get about adding another official state holiday for any person or any reason. How will closing state agencies such as the driver’s license office for a day honor Chavez? Won’t it just make people mad when they show up to take their driving test, and the place is closed?And how does closing schools and making kids take a day off from learning honor Chavez, Martin Luther King or anyone else for that matter?Lynn Burton is a Glenwood Springs Post Independent reporter. His column runs on Thursdays.


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