Fudd | PostIndependent.com


This is the hot dog column. It’s not really about hot dogs, it’s just parts and pieces of all kinds of meaty subjects mashed together like the random parts found in hot dogs. Some people like hot dogs. Some people like good advice. If you like hot dogs, read on. If you like good advice, read on.

If you’d like some good advice about hot dogs, “Don’t eat hot dogs,” they’re made out of orbicular orifices.

If you’ve learned something already, read on, “Ah plans tah learn ya good!”

E. We’re all born ignorant. It takes a lousy education to make us stupid.

D. Bumper Sticker Logic – “If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.”

J. Consider yourself smart if you know you’re ignorant.

Y. Education is the slow process of learning that you don’t know nuthin’.

O. Education is not about answers, it’s about questions. If your answers don’t inspire new questions, you haven’t learned much. If you start questioning everything, your education is probably complete. Unfortunately, now you know you don’t know much. Congratulations, consider yourself educated.

O. The more you learn, the less you know.

K. An education is like a driver’s permit to think for yourself.

A. If we spent billions on education instead of war and weapons, would we all be too smart to go to war, or would we just need to build better weapons?

Y. I’ve long ago forgotten everything my teachers said, but I remember everything they did. When you leave school, hopefully you will have learned enough to teach yourself.

S. If you want to know how to learn, look up everything you don’t know. After you’ve done that, you may have to look up everything you thought you knew.

H. You can blame your parents for the first 18 years of your education, the rest is up to you.

U. Education doesn’t get sweet till it bears fruit, the roots of learning are bitter and tough.

N. Education is not a stagnant pool of memorized facts and figures, it’s an exploratory tool used for climbing the mountains of experience.

I. Facts, facts and more useless facts. The facts may help build rocketships, but it takes imagination to invent one. Don’t let facts get in the way of your imagination.

M. Knowledge without imagination is like an airplane without wings. It won’t fly.

A. Turn your imagination loose like a bird and it will often return with a full belly.

J. Men landed on the moon in their imaginations long before anyone ever set foot there.

I. Some people believe without seeing, other people see without believing.

N. The vision you glorify in your mind will become your reality.

H. It’s a lot more work to be original. That is why originals are expensive and copies are cheap.

O. Youth is a disease that infects youth. It’s harder to catch when you’re old.

T. If you think a fast, new car will make you happy, think of what car payments and insurance will do for you.

D. You can have it all when you’re old, but it’s not nearly as exciting as being young and having nothing.

O. It’s easier to stay out of trouble than it is to get out of trouble.

G. Why do all rebels look alike?

P. Childhood is a kingdom where parents are the servants. If you serve them well, they will serve themselves.

A. If you teach yourself, originality is inevitable. There is no one like you.

R. Don’t sprint through a dark cave, and don’t speak without thinking first.

T. If you want to succeed, you’ll need more backbone than wishbone.

S. Success is a matter of opinion.

B. Have ideals and that may be as good as it gets. Live your ideals and it may get good.

U. Endure. See how much you can take.

N. Beating on the doors of your soul is some great desire to do something you know you were made to do. . DO IT. Follow your dreams and you will have few regrets.

S. Young people like to rebel and conform at the same time. They rebel by defying their parents and conform by copying each other. In the end, they find out that they’ve been processed, just like their parents, just like a hot dog.

We’re all parts and pieces of everyone else. I’m like you and you’re like me. Be happy. If you want to be happy, just be happy. Happiness is a habit you have to practice.

The good old days were the future once. Make tomorrow better today. Be a rebel, be happy, have a tofu hot dog instead.

Dog Gone,


Bernie Boettcher’s column runs every other Thursday in the Post Independent.

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