Gift ideas for lovers of Elvis, squirrels and …
Here we are – the day after the “official” biggest shopping day of the year. Now begins the obligatory, annual ritual of scouring the materialistic world searching for special items for those on our gift-giving lists. So, in honor of the giving season, here’s a list of items you might not have included on your shopping lists, yet. I kid you not – these are all actual items that are currently for sale to the buying public.• For those cat lovers on your list, surprise them with a cat nativity scene. That’s right. In this scene, everybody is a feline, from the three wise men, er, cats, to the baby Jesus. Yes, the Savior is a cute little kitten.• I don’t know what it is about Santa and the toilet, but retailers sure love selling St. Nick-inspired john accessories. One version allows you to dress your toilet tank up like a brick chimney, and follow that with a jaunty red Santa hat for the toilet lid. The matching rug even has Santa’s footprints woven right into the appropriate stance for using the facilities (though I’ll not go into what number nature is calling). • To go right along with the Santa bathroom theme, you can always give your favorite loved one the Pull My Finger Farting Santa. Not only does he perform the famed bodily function, the jolly old guy also follows each performance with “Was THAT on your list?” and other choice phrases.• Nothing says Christmas like a gyrating, sequined Elvis ornament to add to the tree. Purchase a glass ornament of The King, complete with sparkles and in one of his classic, hip-swiveling stances. It brings up images of Rudolph, sugar plum fairies and Santa’s elves – only different. • And if Elvis just doesn’t put you in the holiday spirit, how about your very own game-player Christmas tree ornament? Seriously. Such a thing exists. An ornament to make any parent proud, it’s a little resin figure of a boy sitting cross-legged holding a joystick and staring vacantly at some imaginary X-box, most likely blowing something up or shooting at someone. Enough said. • Perhaps my favorite gift item I’ve found so far this year is the “Squirrels 2007″ full-color calendar. At an impressive 13″ x 22”, the calendar features 12 months of squirrels at their best. Sports Illustrated models and the men of Hawaii have nothing on these little guys. I wonder if they offer a discount for mass orders? These could take care of just about everyone on my list. Or not. Carrie Click is the editor and general manager of The Citizen Telegram in Rifle, at citizentelegram.com. If you’re interested in any of these priceless gift items, get a hold of her, and she’ll hook you up. Especially the squirrel calendar. Carrie can be reached at 384-9170, firstname.lastname@example.org.Post Independent, Glenwood Springs Colorado CO
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