Good cop, bad cop, funny cop |

Good cop, bad cop, funny cop

Im going to the police station today, I announced to husband-head early the other morning as I got dressed.Husband-head nodded in agreement.Yeah, its probably about time you turned yourself in, he agreed. I wonder how many warrants there are for your arrest That wasnt it I was going because I was working on a story which required some information from the PD that I had to obtain in person.Since its been a very long time since I was on the cops and courts beat, I decided to call my old buddy, the police chief, and warn him that Id be coming.YOU again? the chief laughed when he heard my voice. I figured you were incarcerated or something. So youre still around Years ago, I worked very closely with the chief, as my job entailed writing up the daily crime reports and covering various accidents and incidents. And what I learned during that time is that despite their rather rigid reputation cops can be very funny guys, indeed.I remembered one time when I was in a hurry to get the reports, I had pulled up right in front of the police station, ran in and grabbed the papers and came out about three minutes later. There was a $50 ticket on my windshield for parking in a handicapped spot. When I got back to the office, I was livid and called back to the chief.What do you mean I was in a handicapped spot? I demanded to know. Theres a sign right out in front, the chief said simply. You cant park there.But there was no paint on the curb and if there IS a sign, you certainly cant see it because of all the branches from the tree, I protested.The chief told me to come back the following day, bring the ticket and wed talk about it.The next morning, I drove up to the same spot and my mouth hung wide open.The curb had been painted a brilliant blue that was probably visible from the space shuttle, the branches had all been cut back from the tree revealing a handicapped parking sign, complete with a bunch of balloons tied to it for emphasis.I really dont know how you missed that, the chief had pointed out. Its clearly a handicapped parking spot He then proceeded to rip up the ticket and I could still hear him and the boys laughing as I walked back to my car.The best was when I was getting ready to move out of state and was putting in my last few days in the newsroom. It was mid-morning and I was furiously working away at my computer when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I looked up and there were two police officers standing at my desk.Maam, we have a warrant for your arrest, the one informed me in an official tone of voice.Everyone else in my office looked on in horror.The officer then proceeded to read me the warrant, which included citations for wearing too many noisy bangle bracelets, laughing too loudly and a variety of other serious criminal offenses. The two officers had me stand up as they handcuffed my hands behind my back and shackled my feet with a belly chain wrapped around my waist. Naturally, I happened to be wearing black leather pants that day so I looked like I was on my way to a photo shoot for the cover of an S&M magazine Off I went, shuffling because I could barely walk, as all my co-workers watched the nice officers throw me into the back of the patrol car, making sure, of course, that I didnt bump my head. With lights and sirens blaring, we headed down the main thoroughfare on the way to the police station. People in other cars stared at me when we stopped at a light.I was torn between laughing hysterically at the absurd situation and being completely humiliated.You know, I havent forgotten those little incidents, I reminded the chief before we hung up the phone.Neither have I, he agreed. So when you come to visit, please dont park in our handicap parking space Heidi Rice is a Rifle correspondent for the Post Independent. Her column runs every Friday. Visit her Web site at

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