Healthy food versus normal football fare |

Healthy food versus normal football fare

Fried Rice
Heidi Rice
Glenwood Springs, CO Colorado
Heidi Rice

“Do you like hummus?” I wondered out loud to Husband-Head nonchalantly from the kitchen as he watched television in the living room.

Husband-head naturally thought we were playing a funny word game.

“What in the world is ‘hummus’?” he asked. “A support group for people who forget all the words to a song?”

Yeah, honey, that’s what it is.

I explained to him that hummus was made out of chickpeas and typically used as a dip.

“Chick PEES?” Husband-Head said with disdain. “That’s sounds like a bad Lifetime television-for-incontinent-women movie!”

I tried to explain to him that chickpeas were a type of bean.

“Well, why are they called ‘chick’ peas,” Husband-Head wanted to know. “Why do you get your own peas? Why aren’t there any called ‘shoot-’em-up’ peas?”

Apparently, the world is just not fair. … But the whole subject of hummus came about while I was trying to figure out what I was going to serve for Super Bowl football food.

Personally, I don’t really care about the game. But I do care very much about the appetizers and the advertisements.

Chicken wings are a natural during a football game, so I pored through my cookbooks to try and find some fun football food. …

However, being on a low-fat, low-sodium diet, the deep-fried stuff doesn’t really work for us. But as a hobby cook, I watch the Food Network channel on a regular basis during the weekends, and I paid attention as they prepared suggested football food for the big game.

Paula Deen of Georgia is a popular Food Network personality and seems like a really nice woman. But it’s a wonder she’s still alive with all the butter and fat she uses in her recipes.

But I was interested in her recipe for really, REALLY hot chicken wings.

These babies included jalapeno peppers, serrano chili peppers, hot sauce, cayenne pepper, hot pepper sauce and black pepper.

I relayed the recipe to Husband-Head, who loves spicy food, and told him I’d like to try the recipe.

“Ummm, those sound good … but I’ll bet they might hurt going in AND going out,” he said honestly.

Then at one point, there was a commercial on the TV for people testing Campbell’s tomato soup. “That would be a cool job,” I said enviously. “Can you imagine just sitting around and tasting different foods or beverages and getting paid for it?”

“I did that one time,” Husband-Head commented.

And you think you know somebody after nearly 20 years.

“I’m almost afraid to ask,” I said honestly. “Please tell me it was legal. …”

“Yeah, I was 18 years old and they asked if I would do a taste test for Miller Genuine Draft beer,” Husband-Head said with a laugh.

Just to clarify ” and to point out how old Husband-Head is ” the legal drinking age was 18 years old back then. …

“So you did it?” I asked, knowing what the answer would be.

“Yeah … twist MY arm!” Husband-Head recalled with a laugh. “They paid me $20, and I thought it was a lot of money at the time!”

That was all well and good, but I stilled needed to figure out my football feast.

“How about sauteed vegetables over brown rice?” I suggested to Husband-Head.

“Yes, and I can eat it while wearing my pink tutu while I watch the game,” he agreed.

But that didn’t sound like football food ” especially the pink ballerina tutu part. …

“Why don’t you make regular football food ” like buffalo chicken wings, cheese sticks or use the worm from the bottom of the tequila bottle?” Husband-Head suggested.

Obviously, Husband-Head was not going to be much help in planning a healthy Super Bowl menu.

“Why don’t I make little cucumber tea sandwiches with the bread crusts cut off?” I suggested. “I’ll even use low-fat mayonnaise. …”

Husband-Head looked as if he was going to throw up ” before even having the tequila. …

Obviously, food is only one part of the big Super Bowl experience. Apparently there is a football game involved as well.

But for me, it means only one thing ” football is ending and spring is on the way!

Heidi Rice is a reporter for the Post Independent. Her column runs every Friday. Her new book of a collection of columns, “Skully Says Shut It!,” is available at the Post Independent or on her website at

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