It was a nice day for a wintry white wedding
Like the first childhood visit to Disney World, a wedding can have magical effects on all involved. And for this ride, the longer the wait the better.The most coveted of love’s celebrations, the wedding incites tears of joy and emotions of bliss. Crying can also ensue when daddy’s little girl is marrying every parent’s worst nightmare.Wait it out, wait it out.Last weekend, I attended a family friend’s wedding in Indianapolis that fit more into the joy and bliss category. The winter wedding had everything a couple’s big day should – a beautiful bride, a love-struck groom, a hot Best Man, white wedding cake with strawberry-apricot and white mousse filling and the Chicken Dance.Life’s little moments should always be celebrated with polka.I was assigned two duties for the formal event. Program attendant and scripture reader. Don’t fall out of your seats, but I do know a thing or two about the Bible. I went to church camp and vacation bible school, after all. And no, the church’s ceiling did not magically open, allowing bolts of lightning to subsequently strike me dead.
Jesus loves me. This I know.My first responsibility, to hand out the programs, was cut a little short when my mom and I had a little mishap driving to the church. Winter weddings are always more magical with fresh fallen snow. But add two women in heels and icy road conditions and things don’t always go as planned.Avoiding a car in front of us that was suddenly turning left, we ended up off the road, coming to a stop after making contact with a metal post. We were OK, but frazzled and fretting over the damage to the back left wheel well trim on my mom’s Jeep. Sick at home, my dad was not going to feel much better after he saw this. Funny, too, I have the same damage to my car.Like mother, like daughter.Once we were safely at the church, I was all about reading from the Book of Genesis and from the first letter of St. Paul to the Corinthians. I was pretty nervous about walking to the front of the church without slipping and falling down in front of everyone. I was convinced doing stand-up comedy was easier than reading this stuff right.Something tells me bathroom humor at a Catholic wedding is as inappropriate as expecting parents to pay for a second wedding.All in all, I think I pulled off the scripture readings well. Except when I was supposed to say “the word of the Lord” at the end of the last reading and I said, “the word of the God” instead. Easy mistake, really.During the readings, I made sure to stress to Jennifer and Aaron that “love is patient, love is kind.”Unfortunately it’s the people who aren’t always so patient and kind to each other.Love, according to Corinthians, is not supposed to be jealous or quick-tempered.
Love probably shouldn’t flirt with old friends from high school or stay out all night then.But if it’s true and meant to be, “Love never fails.”Unless you’ve been married like eight times. Then an online success course might be in order.After the ceremony, it was time to celebrate good times with dinner and dancing at a gorgeous hotel in downtown Indy. We had to laugh when the valet offered to park the car.”Welcome to the Omni,” he said. “Will you be staying overnight?””Yes,” my mom answered. “We’re here for a wedding.””Well, I’ll take care of you today,” he said. “I just need to check around the car for any damage.”Umm …I was especially excited because I look forward to wedding receptions like little kids anticipate Christmas. I couldn’t wait to hit the dance floor for all those Kool & the Gang and Village People songs best experienced after watching a couple exchange vows.Luckily there was no Electric Slide forced upon the shy guests.
But I did have some competition with one of the bride’s mother’s work friends who we dubbed Sweater Man because of his choice of attire. That turned out to be a bad one considering the temperature on the dance floor and his energetic moves.If he had a theme song, “Going to Make You Sweat” by C&C Music Factory would’ve been it.Like a champagne toast that brings both laughter and tears to the eyes, every wedding reception needs a dancer. A person to get the party started. Sweater Man was our guy.He was so good, he should have been listed on the wedding program. I had to laugh when he picked my mom up and swung her around while they were dancing. I didn’t think it was so funny when he did it to me.Luckily there was an open bar.The day of Jenny and Aaron’s getting hitched went off without a hitch. There were a few small incidents, like me mixing up the Lord and God under a priest’s watchful eye. Or Jenny having to choose a new dress at the last minute because of alteration problems. But the wedding was magical, the reception was hysterical and the staying up until 5 or 6 in the morning was phenomenal. And somewhere in the Caribbean, the couple is being patient and kind with each other.Maybe love never fails after all.April E. Clark will have a wedding on the beach or in the mountains her second time around and her parents won’t even have to pay for it. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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After opposing Proposition 114, the 2020 wolf reintroduction initiative that passed by a whopping 1%, I had reservations about dressing down another budding ballot measure.