It’s possible for people to change " even me
April E. Clark
Glenwood Springs, CO Colorado
New Kids on the Block are touring. The high heel is still the sexiest shoe on the runway. And a Clinton is running for president.
As the saying goes, some things never change.
Or do they?
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about change. In hindsight, I’d say I’ve changed dramatically over the years. Especially since turning 30. I’m willing to take chances I wouldn’t have at 23, the age I married and began living a squeaky clean life dedicated to domestic responsibilities.
Cooking, cleaning and doing laundry trumped skiing, rafting and camping back then.
I was all about that April fresh scent.
While it’s true some things never change ” I’ll always be a sucker for Samoas Girl Scout cookies, hand-picked violets and firefighters ” there’s always room for improvement.
Well, maybe not the suspenders with fire pants thing. That little combination can stay the same as far as I’m concerned.
I believe it’s possible for people to change. Especially if we put faith and trust into them becoming better human beings. Look at Corey Feldman and Nicole Richie. They’ve changed for the better. Even Britney is trying to clean up her act.
Charles Manson is probably the exception here.
I realize how much I’ve learned from my mistakes. Of course I didn’t mastermind a quasi-commune of criminals to commit murders. But I have been responsible for killing a relationship or two with jealous behavior and commitment issues.
As old-school rapper Too Short once said, “Life is too short.” And so is my attention span in love sometimes.
Sure I’ve been a mistrustful person in past relationships. I considered other women who weren’t my friends rivals. I felt like I needed to fight to be with a guy, instead of trusting him and enjoying the moment. I just didn’t get it that if the prize was the man I was with, and he was habitually flirting with other women ” or, God forbid, cheating ” he wasn’t really a prize at all.
He was more like a tacky wedding gift newlyweds are forced to display on the fireplace mantle in case Aunt Edna stops by unannounced.
For me to change and grow and all that good stuff emotionally stable people do, self-actualization is required. That is why I’ve been confronting my trust issues during long, drawn-out conversations with girlfriends. They’re like my personal head cleaners, without the $100-an-hour fees. We agree that ridding myself of trust issues and avoiding sabotaging my romantic relationships starts with me. Not to sound too much like a therapist, but I can’t trust others until I trust myself.
That requires change.
And a vacation to an all-inclusive resort in the Caribbean.
I can think things over much more clearly when I’m near pale-blue water, white-sand beaches and all-you-can-sip Bahama Mamas.
No matter where it takes place ” or how long it takes ” a little change could be what we all need. As long as it’s for the better. No one wants to see someone go from Mickey-Mouse-Club Britney to shaved-head Britney.
Except maybe the paparazzi.
If 2008 is truly going to be the year I make smarter life decisions while pursuing happiness instead of poignancy, there’s going to be change. It’s inevitable.
But there’ll also be characteristics that remain the same.
I’m not going to lose my lust for fun and frivolity. That’s a part of me I’d like to stay in fashion like a pair of candy-apple-red stilettos. Besides, my friends wouldn’t know what to do if I stopped insisting they join me on the dance floor or karaoke to songs by ’80s hair bands.
Some things never change.
April E. Clark is hangin’ tough and looking forward to the 20th. She can be reached at april@ rof.net.
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