Married . WithOUT Children |

Married . WithOUT Children

“Why would anyone want to do that after the age of 50?!” I asked my mother in shock. “That’s simply CRAZY! Nobody does it at that age!”

My mother assured me that they did indeed.

She had called to tell me about a 20/20 news show she had just seen, with Peter Jennings, in which he reported that an increasing number of women over the age of 50 were having babies. .

Well, not necessarily HAVING them in the traditional sense of the word, but giving birth through egg donations.

According to the report, a recent article published in the “Journal of the American Medical Association” showed that healthy women in the over-50 age group were able to give birth using donated eggs – and hundreds of women in the United States were doing it.

“If you think 50 is too old for women to think about having a baby – new research says, `Think again,'” Jennings reported.

I used to like Peter Jennings. But he had just given my mother a loaded gun of ammunition, and now I wanted to give him a wedgie. .

Mom has been bugging me about providing her with grandchildren ever since I got married and takes every opportunity to squeeze it into the conversation. She can’t, for the life of her, understand why husband-head and I have chosen not to have kids.

“You just don’t know what you’re missing,” she pouts.

Yeah . sleepless nights, dirty diapers, endless crying, I thought to myself. No thanks. And especially not at this age. .

But mother insisted on explaining the process to me as if she was sharing a new recipe.

“You take the donated eggs and mix them with the sperm in a petri dish,” she said, in a voice much like Julia Child whipping up a souffle. “Then one or more of the eggs get fertilized and you have . a BABY!”

I envisioned it much like watching chickens hatch in an incubator under a heat lamp when we were in kindergarten. .

“Wait a minute. . What do you mean one or MORE of the eggs get fertilized?” I suddenly questioned.

“Well, one couple got three eggs fertilized and had triplet boys from the procedure!” mother said excitedly. “And they were in their mid-50s!”

Triplet boys would be a tough challenge at 25, never mind 55. .

Now I was happy there was help out there for couples wanting children and having trouble, but the idea of starting a family after 50 still boggled my mind.

Husband-head had the same reaction.

“So, you’d be, like, 70 or so when the kid was a teenager?” he said with a look of horror. “Everyone would think you were the GRANDPARENTS!”

That got me thinking about how life would be as an over-50 parent.

“You’d be picking up Depends AND diapers at the same time,” I mused out loud to husband-head. “And since everyone would be missing teeth at some point, Jello would be a household staple!”

Personally, I’ve become a little more forgetful as I’ve gotten older, which would raise some concerns for me.

“Honey, do you remember where I put Charlie?” I could see myself asking husband-head.

On the other hand, a little forgetfulness might not be a bad thing when having to read the same bedtime stories over and over again. .

I also imagined it would be a tad difficult to push a stroller and use a walker at the same time and then calculated that at some point the kid would be driving his parents around instead of vice versa.

“And later on, you’d both be living in group settings – the kid in a college dormitory and you in a nursing home,” I continued, doing the math.

A couple of days later, I called my mother back.

“Mom, I just saw this news program where they say new research shows that parents should give all their money to their kids BEFORE they die. .”

New Castle resident Heidi Rice’s column runs every Friday in the Post Independent. Visit her Web site at http://www.heidirice. com.

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