Married . WithOUT Children
Monday couldn’t come fast enough.
Normally, husband-head and I drag our feet on Monday mornings, struggling to get back into work mode after the weekend – but on this particular day I was raring to go. I enjoyed the five days off for the long Thanksgiving weekend, but we didn’t go anywhere this year so we were holed up in the house together.
“I was getting USED to just hanging around and not going to work,” husband-head complained as he got ready. “And I was really GOOD at it!”
“Yeah well, get really good at going to work again,” I warned, as I nudged him out the door and closed it behind him.
Not that I don’t like spending time with husband-head – I do – but I’m just not used to having him underfoot day in and day out.
“Are you going to just lie in bed all day or WHAT?” I asked late one morning, checking to see whether he was dead or asleep.
Husband-head pulled the big blanket around him and wriggled with delight.
“I’m cozy! I can stay in bed as long as I want, and you can’t do anything about it!” he cried out with glee.
He finally made his way from the bed to the couch and turned on the TV.
“What’s for BREAKFAST?” he yelled to me in the kitchen.
I had JUST finished washing the dinner dishes from the night before. .
After cleaning the kitchen for the second time, I went into my office to check my e-mail. There was husband-head sitting at the computer playing games.
“Uhhh . how long are you going to be on there?” I asked, a little irritated that he was usurping my space.
“As long as I WANT!” he retorted. “You’re on this thing all day, every day. I’m home for the holidays and now it’s MY turn!”
I decided to get the vacuuming done instead.
A little while later, husband-head got dressed to go out in the yard with the dog.
They went outside. . Then they came inside. . Then they went outside. .
“We’re really busy guys,” husband-head announced with a grin as they tramped back in for the umpteenth time.
I looked at the mud and leaves strewn all over my freshly vacuumed floor.
Husband-head opened the refrigerator door and the two of them just stood there, staring at its contents.
“What’s for LUNCH?”
“A bunch of spoiled food, if you don’t close that door,” I informed him.
After making lunch and cleaning the kitchen for the THIRD time I decided to call Marianne.
“He’s driving me CRAZY,” she hissed into the phone, as soon as she heard my voice. “He’s worse than my KIDS!”
Obviously, her husband was home for the holidays, too.
“I know what you mean,” I commiserated. “Don’t you wish there was, like, a daycare center we could put them in for a few hours?”
“HEY . that’s not a bad idea!” Marianne agreed, enthusiastically.
And while they say that “a man’s home is his castle,” this castle isn’t that big and husband-head seemed to be everywhere I turned. .
“Don’t you just LOVE having me home like this?” husband-head goaded me as he proceeded to make yet another mess.
“Yes, I do,” I assured him. “It’s somewhat like spending several days with a tornado that causes damage and destruction to everything in its path. .”
But by Monday evening, I’d gotten my work done and finally cleaned and had the house put back in order before husband-head came home from work.
“Guess what?” he said, in a jovial tone as he walked through the door. “I just found out we get SIX DAYS off for Christmas. .”
New Castle resident Heidi Rice’s column appears every Friday in the Post Independent. Visit her Web site at http://www.heidirice.com.
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