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Married … WithOUT Children

Heidi Rice

Job title: technical support.

Sounds kind of impressive, doesn’t it? Okay, so it conjures up images of nerdy computer people with thick, horn-rimmed glasses and mild cases of acne, but we are here to dismiss that stereotype right now.

Because actually, tech support people can be loads of fun! And we are speaking here from personal experience.

Take, for example, the nice tech support guy at my local Internet provider – Chris. (Chris is the name of my tech support guy, not my Internet provider. .)

Chris is a great guy. I recently asked him to create a website for this column which he responded to with eagerness and enthusiasm.

“Sure, I’ll do a website for you!” he agreed. “That sounds like fun and I have lots of ideas. .”

I was grateful because I know as much about web design as I do the theory of relativity, but I did know a couple of things that I didn’t want – no black, no pink and no dancing bears. .

A few days later, I received an e-mail from Chris telling me that I should check out my new website at http://www.heidirice.com.

“Let me know if you want any immediate changes,” he wrote.

Now some of you may recall that I recently wrote a column about a free monkey that was advertised in the newspaper, which turned out to be a joke. Chris apparently enjoyed this column.

In fact, Chris apparently enjoyed this column so MUCH that he had placed a picture of a monkey reading a newspaper on my website in place of my photo.

This, naturally, prompted me to call Chris and have a little chat with him.

“About those changes.” I started.

After we finished laughing, I gave him some other instructions about what I wanted on the site, assuming all along, of course, that he would be replacing the monkey picture with my photo. .

The next morning I checked the website again to see if he’d been a good little tech support guy and made the requested alterations.

Yes, of course he had.

Now, there was a picture of my FACE on top of the monkey’s body, along with side-by-side photos of my head AND the monkey’s head which, unfortunately, bore an uncanny resemblance. .

“Very funny,” I said before Chris could say anything when he answered the phone.

He just laughed.

I told husband-head about my evolving website and my very humorous tech support person.

“I LIKE it,” husband-head said, laughing and looking at the monkey with the Heidi-head. “It suits you . and you DO kind of look like that when you haven’t shaved in a while. .”

I wasn’t sure who I wanted to smack first – Chris or husband-head.

Instead, I decided to plot my revenge. I would conjure up a fake expose about Chris and how he was under the federal Witness Protection Program because he used to be a government drug informant working undercover as a female stripper. .

Technical support.

Personally, I think it would also be a great advertising slogan for a men’s underwear commercial. .

However, this story has a happening ending. In the end, Chris did a great job providing me with a site where viewers can read past columns as well as more recent ones. We’re still fine-tuning it – perhaps with a picture of Chris’s head on top of a dancing bear wearing thick, horn-rimmed glasses. .

Check it out.

Heidi Rice’s column appears every Friday in the Post Independent. Visit her website at http://www.heidirice.com.


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