Not quite Glenwood’s next top model
Look out runway, I think I found my next calling.Modeling meets embedded journalism – in a girlie, let’s-play-dress-up-in-a-Little-Red-Riding-Hood costume sort of way.Over the weekend, I volunteered as a model for a Valentine’s Day lingerie fashion show put on by Faces, Hands and Feet Day Spa and Penny Lane Consignment in Carbondale.The first thing my mother asked me was if the fashion show was taking place in a bar.My boyfriend just made sure no perverted dudes would be there.Bustiers, boys and bars – sounds like the makings of a really bad adult movie, or a really fun night during Gay Ski Week in Aspen.I promised my mom and boyfriend the show would be completely innocent and, most importantly, it was for a good cause (proceeds benefited Advocate Safehouse for battered women).And, I assured them, it was a ladies-only event. Talk about an exercise in building better body image.I can safely say dressing in a purple Playboy bunny costume and modeling it for a room full of women is a hop, skip and jump away from lunacy – and imprisonment in some countries.Luckily I’m all right with putting myself out there for all to judge, even if I am wearing four-inch-high patent leather boots.Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and the boot maker.I don’t exactly fit the perfect female model specifications of 5 feet, 9 inches with a 34-inch chest, 24-inch waist and 34-inch hips.I’m only 5-foot-5 – and let’s just leave it at that, shall we?Short girls are people, too.The beauty of being a model is in the tools that make a girl look – and feel – gorgeous.Air brushing is not just for supermodels anymore. My make-believe weekend as a model started with a spray-on tan by a Russian woman named Olga. This was my lesson in learning there’s no shame in being undressed in front of other females.After all, we all have the same beautiful parts – they just come in different shapes and sizes.In modeling, there was no time to be bashful, especially when Olga needed to airbrush tan those hard-to-reach areas. I couldn’t help but giggle when she warned me she needed to spray my smile.I had to throw out all those thoughts of not wanting to show what the Good Lord gave me in the girls’ locker room. Those wretched memories have now been blocked out like excerpts of my journal after Spring Break in Daytona my senior year of college.I may not have the body of an 18-year-old, but neither did Wonder Woman (one of the wardrobe changes in April’s Next Top Model re-enactment).Honesty’s not the only quality that spills out when a superhero/ supermodel breaks out her Lasso of Truth.With my Wonder Woman cape and platform boots, tropical spray-on tan, Gwen Stefani-esque hairdo and glamorous fake eye lashes, I was totally in the moment. I imagined myself as a supermodel for Victoria’s Secret, on the runway wearing the $10 million Millennium Bra and a pair of pink-feathered angel wings.Then, like Kate Moss’ reputation as a law-abiding citizen, my supermodel dream came to a screeching halt. I remembered that part about not being 5-foot-9 and 34-24-34, and my dream deflated.Like any model who’s quick on her feet, I still made sure to strike a pose and smile for the camera as my roommate, Susan, served as my own personal paparazzi.A short girl has her place on the runway, too.Even if she’s dressed like Little Red Riding Hood.April E. Clark would like to give props to her new girlfriends Olga, Kim and Winnie at the Glenwood Beauty Academy, Pat from Penny Lane, Naoma and Karen from Gracie’s, and Lori at Faces, Hands and Feet Day Spa for transforming her into a model for a day.
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