The King and I, Vegas-style
LAS VEGAS Darn the luck.I just read on gossip columnist Norm Clarke’s Web site that Paris and Nicky Hilton, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale, Tommy Lee, Slash and Luke Wilson were all in Vegas over the weekend. Apparently there was a big party at the Palms’ Moon and Playboy nightclubs and I didn’t get the text.Not that I didn’t have celebrity sightings of my own Friday and Saturday.Eat your heart out, Norm I saw David Rainey, aka “Puck” from “The Real World: San Francisco,” eating at Lucky’s Cafe at the Stratosphere.I hear he’s huge in Fresno. Not so much in Vegas.Plus I walked by, then had my photograph taken with, Elvis. That’s a huge feat considering the guy died in 1977. I was thinking of e-mailing the photo to my friend in Thailand, but she’s warned of sending her e-mails with references to the King.
She’d never forgive me if she ended up in a Thai prison. Now, that’s bad Thai food.This Elvis impersonator resembled the King closer to the end of his life. And he smelled like he tackled a cologne bottle. Apparently, I was lucky for the photo opp.”I usually charge for this,” he said, putting his arm around me and striking an Elvis pose.”So do I,” I replied, following suit. Over the weekend, I also met an acrobat who claimed to be in the “Guinness World Records.” He was from somewhere near Turkey and Iran, and was our taxi driver on the way home from dinner at Batista’s Hole in the Wall Italian restaurant. Wearing a very sparkly, silver-and-black shirt, he would exclaim, “Wheeeeee! Wheeeeee! Wheeeeee!” when describing his stunts.Or going through red lights.
And traveling over speed bumps.My new acrobatic friend also said he had been on the “Late Show with David Letterman,” which is a kind of a coincidence. The last time I was in Vegas, these guys told my friends and me their band was on “Letterman,” too.It seems if you’re in Vegas, and you’re a man, your living is made as a musician in a band or as the CEO of an Internet-based company. I’ve heard one guy go as far to say he helped create MySpace. At least the acrobat had visual proof in the form of a clipped-out newspaper article to back up his story.Unless you’re Tom on MySpace, any guy with enough money to get into a club can claim he’s connected in some way to the Internet.After all, Al Gore invented it.When in Vegas, I also counted a number of blushing brides. The place is crawling with them like babies at a day care. Unlike bachelorettes who I see wearing veils connected to ball caps, I don’t try to offer marital advice.
“Don’t do it!” never seems to go over so well.I consider Vegas brides to be good luck. My brother and sister-in-law married in Vegas more than six years ago, and that seems to be working out for the best. So, when I see a Vegas bride, I have to make a bet. On Sunday I spotted a very pregnant bride, and then I won $85 on blackjack. Liking meeting guys who’ve been on “Letterman” in Vegas, I hardly think that’s coincidence.”Luck be a lady tonight” just took on a whole new meaning.I’m doubling down if I ever meet an acrobatic bride in Vegas who’s been in the “Guinness World Records.” Or on “Letterman.”April E. Clark would love to be Norm Clarke for a day, preferably on a Friday or Saturday night at the Palms. She can be reached at email@example.com or 945-8515, ext. 16601.
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