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The name game

April in GlenwoodApril E. ClarkGlenwood Springs, CO Colorado

Will the real Syvette Wimberly please stand up?That’s what a Houston judge might be asking if a pending lawsuit regarding the alleged use of one woman’s birth name as her former high school friend’s porn name goes to court. Luckily April Smith, my maiden name, doesn’t have much porn-name appeal. If my last name were Showers, that might be a different story.According to the lawsuit which can be viewed online on http://www.smokinggun.com K. Syvette Wimberly is suing Vivid Entertainment Group and Lara Madden, aka Syvette Wimberly, for invasion of privacy, negligence and intentional infliction of emotional distress. The real Syvette says she met Madden in high school in Kingwood, Texas, and they were pals, but the friendship ultimately ended.I wonder if she stole her boyfriend first, then her name. …Syvette didn’t hear much about Madden until she found out her name is now associated with the pornography industry.

Life can be full of surprises.Just like pizza delivery guys discover in adult films.The real Syvette claims she has had “loss of enjoyment of life, inconvenience, emotional distress, mental anguish and other damages.” I can imagine the mystery e-mails reading, “I really had a fun time with you last night” could become quite disheartening.Being that the two last names I’ve had in life are Smith and Clark, I would have a hard case proving someone stole my name. And there are plenty of April Smiths and April Clarks in the world.The most famous April Clark at least by Google’s standards is the model and actress from “Stomp the Yard” and “ATL.” Her Web site, at http://www.aprilclark.com, says she is part Irish and Cherokee. That’s weird, as I’m part Blackfoot and Irish.

The model and celebrity part, not so much.Even more of a coincidence, there is a novelist named April Smith. She has written three mystery novels, and has had her articles, short stories and essays published in Rolling Stone, Mademoiselle and The Boston Globe. She’s also been nominated for Emmy Awards for her television writing work.It seems I’m in good company as opposed to Syvette Wimberly.Google searches reveal it’s in my best interest to keep the middle initial, as there weren’t many exact matches. But if I were ever to write a book, I might change up my pen name to set myself apart from all the other April Clarks and April Smiths out there. I could be April E. McAnany, taking my mother’s maiden name. Or April E. Trimpe, which would be my great-grandmother’s maiden name.But maybe I should follow the porn star name equation.According to the Internet and all of my really bored friends, this process requires taking the name of my first pet and combining it with the name of the street where I was raised.



That would make me Cindy South.Very suggestive, with an innocent hint of “The Brady Bunch.”I’m thinking Lara Madden should have followed suit in choosing her porn name, so she wouldn’t be in the middle of a legal suit. She really could have done something creative with the Madden last name, too.Are you ready for some football?April E. Clark wonders if she’ll someday marry a guy with the last name of Jones. That would be the trifecta. She can be reached at aclark@postindependent.com and 945-8515, ext. 16601.


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