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TV love and pillow talk

Heidi Rice
Post Independent
Glenwood Springs, CO Colorado

“I can’t sleep,” Husband-Head nudged me an hour after we’d already gone to bed. “And I have to get up really early in the morning.”

As if waking me up was going to help.

“Count stuff,” I mumbled. “They say it helps you fall asleep.”



Husband-Head was silent for a moment.

“Count Dracula … Count Chocula … Count Basie …” he said slowly, staring up at the ceiling.



“NO!” I interrupted him. “It’s supposed to be, like, sheep! I said count SOMETHING, not count Counts!”

But now I was wide awake.

“Who the hell is ‘Count Chocula?'” I wanted to know.

“It’s a chocolate, monster-themed cereal by General Mills,” Husband-Head explained. “Each box had a little plastic mini-monster in it. There were five different ones altogether, which you traded with your friends until you had the whole collection.” Yes, of course, a monster-themed breakfast. That explained why Halloween is still Husband-Head’s favorite holiday to this day.

“Why, what cereal did you eat as a kid?” Husband-Head asked curiously. “Froot Loops?”

I reached over and punched him in the arm.

We both lay in the dark, but now neither one of us could fall asleep.

“What was your favorite TV show when you were young?” I asked out of the blue.

“The Munsters,” Husband-Head immediately replied. “But I liked ‘The Addams Family,’ as well. What was yours?”

“Dark Shadows,” I remembered. “We used to rush home from school to watch it. I also liked ‘The Twilight Zone.'”

Obviously, he’d had a thing for monsters and I’d had a thing for the paranormal as children.

“I also liked ‘Lassie’ and ‘Flipper,'” I added. “Except when they were in danger.”

“‘Star Trek,'” Husband-Head blurted out. “I liked Captain Kirk. He was always boinkin’ the green chick.”

We both liked “Leave It to Beaver” and ‘The Andy Griffith Show,” but agreed they were a little bit cornball.

“Now, ‘The Brady Bunch’ was hot,” Husband-Head sighed. “I had a major crush on Marcia.” “What about ‘I Dream of Jeannie?'” I challenged, remembering the blonde bombshell who granted all of her “master’s” wishes with a blink of her eyes and then went back into her little bottle.

“Yup,” Husband-Head agreed. “I loved the whole Jeannie concept. Even then, I knew that was the way things were supposed to be.”

I pointed out that he was about 5 years old when the show was in its prime.

But now, fully awake, I was on a mission to find out who his other childhood TV “crushes” were.

“Who else did you like?” I wanted to know.

“Ummm, I always thought Samantha on ‘Bewitched’ was very attractive,” Husband-Head admitted.

The actress, Elizabeth Montgomery, was old enough to be Husband-Head’s mother.

“I suppose you also liked Mary Ann on ‘Gilligan’s Island,'” I said knowingly.

“No, actually I liked Mrs. Howell,” Husband-Head said.

Clearly Husband-Head developed a thing for older women at a young age.

So, here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson …

We lay in the dark and stopped talking for a while.

“Honey,” I finally whispered. “Do you like me more than Marcia Brady?”

Husband-Head didn’t answer because he’d fallen asleep. …

NEWS FLASH: Want to know what Husband-Head and I are up to on a daily basis (and who wouldn’t – Ed.)? I’ve started a new blog and invite everyone to share their comments. For those of you who want to talk football, Husband-Head will be on the blog, too. Go to heidirice.wordpress.com.

Also, Husband-Head and I will be at the Glenwood Springs Downtown Market from 5-8 p.m. on Tuesday, Aug. 25, to sign our book, “Skully Says Shut It!” Come by and introduce yourself!

Heidi Rice is a reporter for the Glenwood Springs Post Independent. Her column runs every Friday. Visit her website at http://www.heidirice.com.


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