Valentine’s Day spells big trouble |

Valentine’s Day spells big trouble

“Well, aren’t we a nosy little Nellie?” husband-head mocked as I hung up the phone. “Do you mind telling me why you’re calling and asking people such personal questions?””It’s my job,” I shrugged. “I get paid to ask all kinds of questions.”Actually, I was working on a Valentine’s Day story which entailed asking a couple how long they’d been married, where they’d met and their most memorable Valentine’s Day. “In fact,” I said, slapping a piece of paper in front of husband-head. “I want us to answer the questions, too.”Husband-head rolled his eyes.”I can already see that this is going to get me in big trouble,” he said doubtfully as he read through the list.But Valentine’s Day is a good time to reflect on your relationship and to celebrate love and romance – hopefully with your significant other – so I thought it’d be interesting to see how we did.Husband-head and I each took a copy of the questions and filled out our answers to the Valentine’s Day quiz. The following are the results we ended up with:* How long have you been married?Me: “Almost 12 wonderful years … sigh …”Husband-head: “Longer than most convicts get for first-degree murder.”* What is your anniversary/date you were married?Me: “July 16, 1994.”Husband-head: “Uh-oh … I’m in big trouble …”* Do you have any children?Me: “NO!” (knocking on wood)Husband-head: “Not that I know of!”* Where were you married?Me: “In a lovely hillside chapel in a park. Although, it WAS a little warm in there …”Husband-head: “In a really, really hot little room that I couldn’t wait to get out of.”* Best wedding-day memory?Me: “Looking into my new husband’s eyes and imagining the life we were about to embark upon together … (sigh) …”Husband-head: “The two shots of Jaegermeister my buddies and I had before we hit the church.”* Best memories of your honeymoon and/or honeymoon night?Me: “We were leaving very early the next morning on our honeymoon and our limo driver had lost our luggage. When we finally arrived at our beachfront hotel in San Diego, husband-head wouldn’t go in the water because he thought something in the ocean would eat him.”Husband-head: “On our wedding night, the guy in the limo forgot to bring our bags to the hotel and my wife freaked out until 3 a.m. when they finally arrived. On our honeymoon in San Diego, she got mad at me on the beach because I wouldn’t go play with the jellyfish …”* Where did you meet?Me: “In a bar. I was bartending and he came in with 25 of his closest friends who were all buying him drinks because it was his birthday. He kept asking me out and I finally agreed because I didn’t think he’d remember, anyway.” Husband-head: “I don’t remember.”* How did you know he/she was the one?Me: “He seemed so well-mannered and intelligent.”Husband-head: “She laughed when I made disgusting noises with my hand in my armpit.”* Best Valentine’s Day gift ever?Me: I had been wanting to see the movie, “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” and husband-head decorated our bedroom with Greek stuff, made me a Greek dinner and had the movie ready in the VCR. I could tell it took a lot of planning and it was very sweet. Although I’m kind of glad he didn’t put on one of those white Greek skirts …”Husband-head: “The best gift I ever gave was a pair of red Chuck Taylor tennis shoes to a girl I was dating. I thought it was funny – she didn’t.”* Is Valentine’s Day still special?Me: “Of course it is. And I’m sure he’ll remember me with some beautiful flowers and a romantic card.”Husband-head: “Oh crap, is it Valentine’s Day? Uh-oh, I’m in big trouble …”Heidi Rice is a staff reporter for the Post Independent. Her column runs every Friday. Visit her Web site at

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