Verbifying nouns |

Verbifying nouns

April in GlenwoodApril E. ClarkGlenwood Springs, CO Colorado

This just in: The American Dialect Society has chosen its 2006 Word of the Year “plutoed.”But don’t think Disney’s little canine.According to the society, to be plutoed is to demote or devalue someone or something, as the former planet Pluto was when the General Assembly of the International Astronomical Union decided it no longer met its definition of a planet.Sort of like your boyfriend deciding you no longer meet the definition of his girlfriend. But nowhere near as amusing as Mickey’s lovable pet dog.Normally a journalist like myself would be against turning a noun into a verb. But if the American Dialect Society can do it, so can I.I’m a sucker for peer pressure. It’s a wonder I survived high school, let alone four years of college.In the spirit of being plutoed, I’m thinking there are tons of other nouns that could be turned into verbs. Especially on the celebrity circuit.I’ll start with the paparazzi’s favorite “Oops-I-did-it-again” girl, Britney Spears. Imagine a night out on the town when, at some point in the evening, you get out of the car and hear the click, click, click of the camera. Unfortunately your miniskirt is extra mini, your panties are back home in the dryer, and you forgot how to exit a vehicle like a lady.Congratulations, you’ve just been britneyed.Britney’s gal pal (or are they still friends?) Paris Hilton really knows how to make her name into an enticing verb. To be “parissed” involves a sleazy boyfriend, an expensive night of partying in Vegas and, of course, a video camera.Not to mention some very adult action inappropriate to mention here in this column.There’s probably someone out there being parissed right now. And getting paid for it.Party girls aren’t the only ones fit for an -ed. The recent verbal squabble between real estate tycoon The Donald and The View co-host Rosie O’Donnell gives the word “trumped” a whole new meaning.Personally, I wouldn’t want any part of being trumped. Even though I’m pretty sure I’m not “a slob … a loser and … a terrible person,” my self-esteem couldn’t handle such allegations.I’m offended when someone doesn’t like how I make my enchiladas. Being called a fat pig would probably send me straight into therapy.I’m sensitive like that.Of course if I’m going to dish it out, I should at least be able to take some heat myself. So, if one were to get “apriled” it would require at least two gin martinis, dancing the Running Man at the company holiday party, and playing Cupid for a new colleague.All in the same night.To be apriled also entails falling asleep in a hot tub, befriending a bachelor party of firemen, and never stepping on land while in the Bahamas.All on the same cruise.But don’t count on me being photographed getting out of a car without underwear.Even I know better.April E. Clark hopes she never gets plutoed again. She can be reached at or 945-8515, ext. 16601.

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