Wearing a toga can get you in deep sheet | PostIndependent.com

Wearing a toga can get you in deep sheet

The little black dress. The red stiletto. The toga.

Those ancient Romans were ahead of their fashion time.

Looking great on a $5 budget was never so easy as a white cotton twin sheet from Wal-Mart. Add a few strategically placed knots, a gold cord belt, a vine of silk grape leaves, and voila!

Animal House chic.

I had forgotten how influential this fashion-forward college friend of mine was until last weekend. At Saturday’s Colorado Yagatta Regatta, a boatload of friends and I dressed like the cast of the National Lampoon’s movie about Delta house.

Toga was welcomed back with open arms. At least 12 years had passed since we’d been all wrapped up in each other’s company.


And it felt so good.

Toga and I have always had fun together, no matter where the party’s at ” or who’s at the party.

Once, at Purdue, my roommate and I kicked off the school year with a toga-and-hairy-buffalo party. The hairy buffalo is what we Hoosiers call a fruit punch-based concoction made with Everclear (might as well be moonshine) and fruit floating in it. Folks from North Carolina might call it a purple Jesus. Either way, drinking it must cause chest hair to grow and people to see the light.

Saturday there was no hairy buffalo or purple Jesus in sight. But we did spend the equivalent of a full work day on the river and in the park, reliving the old days.

We laughed. We danced. We shared beers. We danced some more.

We may or may not have eaten three hot dogs. Then we cried.

It’s a girl-wearing-a-bed sheet thing, OK?

Walking around all day wearing a piece of bedding wrapped with fake foliage takes some nerve. That’s one of the reasons so much time has passed in our relationship, I suppose.

Toga is likely the inspiration behind that saying “too much of a good thing can kill ya.”

Don’t forget three sheets to the wind. …

Toga, like the microphone at karaoke night, can bring out the best and the worst in human beings.

Just the thought of walking around everyday rocking the toga sounds like a party waiting to happen.

Toga welcomes a good time, laughing at spills like that little skeleton guy from “Tales From the Crypt.” Red hairy buffalo doesn’t even phase her, no matter how bad the stains.

Toga can also teach you how to walk with what my roommate describes as a sexy swagger ” as opposed to a drunken stagger.

No matter that the two can often be confused.

But, like the feeling a girl has when she realizes she has eaten three hot dogs in one sitting, toga’s appearance at the party isn’t always so welcome. Sometimes too much of toga can be a bad thing ” especially the next morning.

That’s when the in-control little black dress takes over, and life becomes a little less toga-like.

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