Well, she’s not into you, either
Sometimes women even head-strong girls like myself can be gluttons for punishment when it comes to men.Hence the reason “He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys” is a best-seller. And just announced this week, Drew Barrymore will produce a movie based on the book to be released next year.ET phone home and tell me why we waste so much time and now the cost of a movie ticket on the subject of figuring out men. Aliens probably have a better shot at it than I do. My time would honestly be better spent trying to figure out how to say, and correctly spell, Joaquin Phoenix’s first name.The movie’s announcement motivated me to finally check out the book and see what all the hubbub is about.Actually, I could have borrowed it from one of my best girlfriends whose husband gave it to her as a Christmas gift. But that’s still a touchy subject with her.Get out.I’m kicking myself for not penning the darn book before “Sex and the City” writers Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo beat me to it.And now I’m wishing I wasn’t wearing my pointy three-inch heeled boots today.For years I believed this one fraternity guy in college didn’t date me seriously because I wasn’t Greek.Little did I know he had a spanikopita addiction.I’m considering writing the book “She’s Just Not That Into You: The Dreamer’s Guide to Thinking They Could Ever Possibly Begin to Understand Gals.” There wouldn’t be many pages. Then again, there wouldn’t be many readers.Most men I know don’t waste their time worrying if they are in a dead-end relationship. Some men I know would rather be dead than be in a relationship.The book has all these great pointers and sayings such as “There’s a guy out there who wants to marry you” and “Love curbs commitment-phobia.”There’s even little exercises at the end of some of the chapters to help women get in touch with their inner Carrie Bradshaws. One workbook asks women to list five things they want in a man. I’ve always been a dreamer so, I decided to give it a whirl.1. He must know all his states and capitols, including spellings 2. He must be able to do at least three cartwheels in a row3. He must always honor a double-dog dare4. He must appreciate the McRib sandwich5. He must have at one time had a Big Wheel as a kidEasy enough.Also in the book are statistics that help women accept that their boyfriends, or ex-boyfriends in this case, are just not that into them. According to the book, “100 percent of men polled said that when they broke up with someone, it always meant they didn’t want to go out with them anymore.”I think I see a pattern here.And most guys don’t have any problem understanding “breakup sex still means you’re broke up,” a pointer “He’s Just Not That Into You” reiterates at the end of Chapter Eight.If a woman doesn’t know that by now, just take the book, smack her over the head and call it a day.And make sure, while she’s laying helplessly on the ground, to rub it in that her boyfriend is “just not into her.”April E. Clark has been repeating “He’s Just Not That Into You” self-affirmation pointers such as “A cheater only cheats himself because he doesn’t get to be with you” and “If he’s not calling you it’s because you are not on his mind” in the mirror to herself every morning since she checked out the book at the library. She can be reached at 945-8515 ext. 518 or firstname.lastname@example.org
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