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What is Scientology about?

Ever since Tom Cruise “jumped the couch” on Oprah, I have been curious as to what Scientology is. A cursory review and a few calls to Scientology” Orgs” tout it as a way to better communication and on its homepage there are tabs lauding it’s “Way to Happiness”, “Human Rights”, “Narconon”, “Applied Scholastics”, and “Volunteer Ministries”. I found an eight minute back-story by L. Ron Hubbard (himself speaking) on the net explaining the premise of Scientology which goes thusly; (and I am not making this up) in the past there was an inter galactic president-of-sorts named Xenu, who just before the end of his “term” decided to cull the population. How? Well, he rounded up “trillions” of people and blew them up via hydrogen bombs in volcanoes, notably Hawaii. How one being could round up “trillions” of people and kill them, I believe, falls squarely into the category of the “Willing Suspension of Disbelief.”

At any rate, all of us are afflicted by what Hubbard calls “thetans,” or the disembodied spirits of the aforementioned which cause all of our personal and societal problems. To rid ourselves of these pesky “thetans,” one must go through a lengthy and pricey process called “auditing.”

During this “auditing” process you are subjected to hours and hours of questioning while you hold what is tantamount to a galvanic skin meter, or simplified lie detector. There, I just saved you about fifty thousand dollars.



Additionally, Hubbard was a racist ” a few examples; “The problem with China is that there are too many chinks there.” He refers to African-Americans (in a letter to his wife) with a word Jesse Jackson now regrets saying while he thought his mic was off on Fox News.

“Field Staff Members” get 10 percent of the proceeds of whatever courses they can convince you to buy. Additionally, Scientologists are notoriously anti-psychiatry; (hence Tom Cruises’ rant about Brooke Shields having to take meds for post-partum depression) but in the ultimate twist of irony, L. Ron Hubbard had Vistaril in his bloodstream when he died. Vistaril is a sedative and is also used to treat alcohol withdrawal, and a psychotropic medication.



A number of cases exist of families or persons who joined Scientology while severely mentally ill, later committing suicide, murder, or both. Aside from the racism of Hubbard, what was most distressing about Scientology is how it seems to fracture families that are not all members of this group.

Journalists and Psychiatrists (and a myriad of others) are considered “suppressive persons” which Hubbard himself said that these persons are “Fair Game” Under the “Fair Game Doctrine:” These people “May be deprived of property or injured by any means by any Scientologist without any discipline of the Scientologist. May be tricked, sued or lied to or destroyed.”

The cuddliness goes even further, there exists an “auditing process” named “R2-45” which consists of shooting the target with a Colt .45, thereby causing those pesky “thetans” to leave the body. A rather permanent solution, yes? This was an actual “auditing process”.

Now I am not saying that all of the people in scientology are crooks and misguided liars, they’re not. Most of the people in Scientology are in The Truman Show, believing what is being fed to them from the gospel of L. Ron Hubbard. Hubbard even went so far (from when he was in World War II) as to say, “…blinded with injured optic nerves, and lame with physical injuries to hip and back, I faced an almost nonexistent future.” He also states his service record states …”permanently disabled physically.”

Life threatening injuries? Not so much. In an official report regarding Hubbard his superiors noted, “Consider this officer lacking in the essential qualities of judgment, leadership, and cooperation …Not considered qualified for command or promotion at this time. Recommend duty on a large vessel where he can be properly supervised.”

Regarding his promotion of a drug free lifestyle; In 1967, Ron wrote his third wife, Mary Sue: “I’m drinking lots of rum and popping pinks and greys.” Pinks and greys were slang for uppers and downers, not differently colored tic-tacs. One final note of record was “Operation Snow White” wherein the Church of Scientology in the 1970’s tried to purge unfavorable records about Scientology and its founder. Via Wikipedia,

“This project included a series of infiltrations and thefts from 136 government agencies, foreign embassies and consulates, as well as private organizations critical of Scientology, carried out by Church members, in more than 30 countries; the single largest infiltration of the United States government in history with up to 5,000 covert agents. Under this program, Scientology operatives committed wiretapping and theft of documents in government offices, most notably those of the IRS.”

I invite you to do research of your own regarding Scientology, as what I have found is rather horrifying. But don’t believe this little column, do your own research.

Contact Christopher Mullally at christophermullally@gmail.com


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