What would Oprah do? | PostIndependent.com

What would Oprah do?

April E. Clark
April in Glenwood
Glenwood Springs, CO Colorado
April E. Clark

Waiting at the gynecologist’s office ” one of life’s necessities as a woman ” I flipped through “O, the Oprah Magazine.”

I imagined what it would be like to have “A, the April Magazine.” Then I remembered I am neither a media mogul nor one of the most influential women in the world. I also didn’t earn $385 million last year.

The thought’s nice though.

With every turn of a page, I felt more and more motivated to get this new year right. That’s something I always resolve to do but usually fall short on in some aspect. I’m sticking to one resolution this year, and that’s to write every day of 2009. Even if it’s just one sentence.

Luckily this column counts.

I’m actually 5-5 on that one. Like learning a new language, having sex and eating sushi, there’s a first time for everything. My best advice: Avoid salmonella.

Oprah’s self-help cronies Suze Orman, Dr. Mehmet Oz and Martha Beck all had great suggestions for heading into the new year with a fresh attitude. Suze advises adopting a stealthy credit card strategy by avoiding new charges and paying off existing balances.

Anyone have any scissors?

Something tells me charging a $75 blouse as a Christmas present to myself isn’t what Suze had in mind. Hey, it was half-price ” my rationalization for most of the purchases in my wardrobe. But that was so last year and I will chalk that one up to mistakes of 2008.

If only fashion never changed …

Suze also suggests we value ourselves over things we can buy. Then, she says, we will start to see a transformation. That’s all fine and good until I see an ad for an Audi S4 Cabriolet. My self-worth flies out the window faster than a cigarette butt being discarded on the New Jersey Turnpike.

That’s where Dr. Oz comes into the picture. He has suggestions on how to achieve a “more magnificent you,” according to the oprah.com website. I took his online You-Q Test and, to my surprise, scored a 14 in Part 1. Which means:

“There’s a lot about your appearance that bothers you. You probably feel bad whenever you look in the mirror. The truth is, although it may take work, there are many things you can do to improve your appearance.”

By Suze’s standards, I apparently shopped way too much last year.

Part 2, which was more health focused, I scored very well. My results?

“Not much keeps you from doing what you want to do. The trick is to maintain your good health.”

If only I had that mindset when I wake up every morning. I liken the process to a bear rising from hibernation and discovering a person in her den. The fallout is not pretty.

Especially when I’m feeling extraordinarily hungry.

Martha Beck’s topic was “Escape Your Rat Race.” Feel your way to freedom. The idea is based on the mentality that most people choose a familiar situation (or rat cage) if change or the unknown looms.

Sounds like most of my adult life.

I’ll be the first to admit change throws me off balance like wind during a tight-rope competition. The unknown can be scary. But it can also turn out to be the best thing that can ever happen. My 2008 was filled with enough address changes to keep a moving company in business. But in the end, last year turned out to be one of the most financially stable time periods of my life.

Like a great kiss, it’s all in the embrace.

If I’m skittish and don’t seize the opportunity, life just flies by me like the midwestern landscape on a road trip home to Indiana. I’ll make resolutions I’ll never achieve, then wonder what happened to the time.

Even Oprah Winfrey shares that sentiment.

Maybe I’ll sign up for a subscription to Oprah’s magazine so I remain motivated. Maybe someday I’ll have a magazine of my own to motivate women just like me. No matter what happens in my future, change will certainly come. And I will embrace it.

That’s what Oprah would do.

April E. Clark is having one of Oprah’s ‘Aha! Moments.’ She can be reached at aclark@postindependent.com.

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