With costume I’m nailin’ the look of Ms. Palin | PostIndependent.com

With costume I’m nailin’ the look of Ms. Palin

April in Glenwood
April E. Clark
Glenwood Springs, CO Colorado
April E. Clark
ALL |

As I applied an extra coat of makeup and manipulated my brown locks into a half up-do, I had a Mel Brooks-esque epiphany.

It’s good to be Sarah Palin.

Then I stepped out to the balcony from my bedroom, looked to the south and realized I could see Mexico from my house.

Amazing the difference a second floor can make.

For Halloween, I got all dolled up to be the prettiest vice-presidential candidate since Marie Caroline Brehm, of the United States of America Prohibition Party, who ran for the post in 1928.

She probably wouldn’t have been much fun at the party.

This was the first time I picked a political figure to mock on Oct. 31. But with a Pepto Bismol pink leather jacket and black pumps and pantyhose so readily available, a Caribou Barbie get-up was just too hard to resist.

Apparently I was not alone.

A nationwide survey of 1,332 members of TRUE ” a scientifically based, online relationship service ” reported 23.87 percent of women dressed as Sarah Palin this year. That would be an estimated 23.87 percent increase from 2007.

Amazing the difference a year can make.

The Paris Hiltons barely edged out the Sarah Palins, with 24.11 percent of women choosing to emulate her distinctive style under the guise of the Halloween spirit. Considering Paris is 5-foot-8, 115 pounds, and a hotel heiress worth millions of dollars, I doubt I could pull off her American celebutante look.

Amazing the difference a last name can make.

But Sarah and I both have brown hair ” I pass on the $95 highlights ” and are reportedly the same height (5-foot-5ish). We also like to shop at consignment stores and hold journalism degrees. Although I seem to have a better understanding of the First Amendment than she does.

Amazing the difference a media law class can make.

According to the survey, dressing up as a politico wasn’t a very sexy choice, which is often the way to go at adult Halloween parties. Oh, who am I kidding, high school parties, too.

“Both men and women agree that when it comes to sexy costumes, politicians rank the lowest at 1 percent,” the survey said. “The highest was a French maid costume at 48 percent.”

Darn, maybe I should’ve gone as Sarah Palin in a French maid costume. With those kind of approval ratings, maybe she should be out there on the stump in a French maid costume herself.

Don’t forget the red lipstick.

Arguably not as sexy as Sarah Palin or Paris Hilton was my boyfriend’s uncanny impersonation of a guy who loves to point, give the thumbs up and use air quotes. He should definitely go into politics. Or at least impersonating aging politicians. His costume choice was much like voters in The Gallup Poll. Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama was a much more popular guy than Republican candidate John McCain this weekend.

Amazing the difference a robo call can make.

I must admit it was empowering to dress up as Gov. Palin. Her image ” and her wink, which I never perfected ” really have a powerful effect on people. It really is good to be Sarah Palin. Especially when blue-collar sensation Joe the Plumber stopped by the party. He’s a huge fan and loved the photo op.

Hey the guy already has a book deal. I want him on my side.

Throughout the evening I felt as if I were channeling Sarah Palin. I shook a lot of hands. I declared, “Thanks, but no thanks,” to the Bridge to Nowhere. I kissed some babies, in particular a cute ebony-haired one named Suri whose “parents” I tried to convert from Scientology to something that makes way more sense in my opinion. I plugged the magic that is aerial wolf gunning. I also read all of the newspaper and magazines out there to broaden my world view.

I think I really reached the taxpayers and rallied some votes. For which candidate, I’m unsure. I guess I’ll find out today.

Amazing the difference an election can make.

April E. Clark hopes everyone out there rocks the vote. She can be reached at aclark@postindependent.com.


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